Minor Derailment

Little X has a tummy bug and while she's in good spirits, the exclusion period is probably going to mean she misses at least a day of nursery. This is so bloody irritating on limited "messy renovation work" time. 

I have 1.5 walls left to prep and am downgrading to "basic prep" with self-adhesive grey patterned wallpaper for the longest wall. Nobody cares about decor in a "renovator's dream", I just need to upgrade from "bare ugly wall" level so that it almost looks like it's immediately habitable. Just got to sand and wash without a small person in attendance, then paint the other walls, which are ready to go. 

I had a brilliant win yesterday offloading twelve bags to the baby bank, who were just fine with taking it all. It wasn't even all of it. I stopped myself at 3 lots of nappies. There's still six bin bags on my bed ready to go, but I'll give them a few weeks to recover first! 😂 It also marks three quarters of the total stuff I am aiming to offload - 75 bags. 🎉 

Little X is growing so fast and I'm increasingly conscious she's getting older. It's a good reminder to keep me motivated, we need a more suitable home, and it's time. I can do this.

Smart meter installation booked for this week - I'm in two minds but it at least gives me more insight to my electricity usage. 

Refreshing

Today was another "getting stuff done" exercise. I didn't clear the whole lot that I had wanted, but I did get a couple of hours' housework done as well and the extra floor space is refreshing in a way I hadn't expected.

I donated quite a bit of stuff. It was sobering to find so many things that were either unused, duplicates or used only once. It's not only that I've clearly shopped without purpose, it's the fact I'd had so much clutter that I didn't know what I already had (and bought it again).

I can see it in Little X too this afternoon. I packed away her big set of blocks, and pulled out some toys she hasn't seen in a while. She's calm, content and enjoying herself. Having a tidy room to play, without being bombarded by "stuff", is obviously a big plus. It's refreshing to the mind.

More than anything it's meant I can clearly see what still needs doing, and now I have the space to do it, without it seeming like a monumental task. 😊

Two banks have now visibly defaulted me 👏 and I have started sending token payments. Nine more to go. 

*Laughs in Selfie*

I just looked at my watch, realised what day it is, did a little internal "woohoo!" because I've got another day off tomorrow - and then remembered I've got all the days off.

It's been demoralising to look around at all the things I wanted to do but which weren't practical until a nursery day, like moving furniture, hurling bags of stuff into the skip and painting. So guess what I did today? Well, I at least did the vacuuming and did the first furniture shuffle. There will be more of those - there's not a lot of spare space, so it has to be planned in sequence. But it's already improved. I can't put into words how nice it was to walk across the room without squeezing around something. 😀

Someone is collecting my large shelves tonight (touch wood). I think I overdid it slightly, which is why I stopped after dismantling the shelves, then moving the bed, sofa and cot. The piles of belongings are judging me, but here's hoping I can sort some out this week.

Win: £100 Nationwide Fairer Share money 💰 already yanked out and put safety away! 😁 

All The Eggs!

That title isn't related to the post, it's just something Norri says in excitement when discussing her Shakshuka breakfast on Hey Duggee. This past few days it feels like I got all the green lights. 

Anyway. Work has kindly let me out of my notice period and Nursery has kindly done the same. Starting next week I'll have six weeks to tidy and clear out. I keep talking about this but it's on my mind a lot as I want to move furniture and can't really do that until I have a kiddo-free flat - so next week it begins.

The great big minus is that it's six months since I lost my mum. It feels like it happened to another person. It feels both totally detached and yet very raw, and both yesterday and a century ago. It feels both sharp reality and just a bad dream.

I follow a lady who kindly calls herself an Uninfluencer, she is utterly normal and unaffected, which is why people like her. This week she posted a tidbit about herself. She said that six years ago she lost her mum and became acutely aware that her own time was finite and she wasn't using her time on earth in meaningful ways. She wasn't doing all the things she wanted to do "someday" and felt she needed to reprioritise to avoid having regrets. Within 12 months she gave away her stuff, quit her job, sold her house and went in another direction. That resonates with me. I don't have the "new direction" chosen physically, but I am steering my life in a new way. Financially and in terms of my home space and possessions.

What I liked most is that she has stuck with her new way of life for five years. It gives me hope. I have always struggled to make changes stick and right now I am amazed at still having decluttering motivation. A workmate, who also lost someone, reflected that when you lose someone you decide what's important, and that work doesn't "matter" anymore in the scheme of things, and I understood.

I am looking forward to building a purposeful life. For almost 50 years I have coasted along and it's time to only do what matters. It's time to get further into my own chosen stride and stop doing the dumb things others do without thinking. 

Glacial Pace

The paradox of not being a child is that life goes both way too fast and also way too slow. It's almost 72h since I finished my most recent work shift, I didn't do anything strenuous, and I'm still aching. Little X had an awfully unsettled day at home following the usual long day at nursery without sleep the day before. Me being at work two days a week effectively ruins five days a week for us. So I've written my resignation letter.

Nursery has told me that she has 15 funded hours per week until the end of the school year, so I'm just going to leave her in and have her attend shorter days. Once I finish with work I should have three more weeks of nursery and I'm using those days to do a deep clean and ready the flat for sale.

Currently close to half way through the "stuff exodus" and I hope to have it mostly complete before work ends. Loads has left which was brand new and worth a fair bit of money, but guess what, I haven't missed any single item, at all. It's just as valuable to me on the sales shelves of a charity shop as it was at my place buried in a box.

Vague victory: after missing their call twice due to them hanging up after one ring, I enjoyed countless transfers and cutoffs today on the phone for 2 hours with the DWP. End result I finally managed to pay my £634 National Insurance top up. 👏 The budgeting advance did turn up 👏 and the UC people have just been in complete silence in response to my "WTF are you doing?". But I have it... and I've spent it, catching up with my maintenance arrears on the flat. So I've updated my list. It's nice to see it shrinking. 💪 

UC Shenanigans

UC declined to pay for my childcare from the Flexible Support Fund due to a dumb technicality, meaning I had 3 working days to magic the money. They then decided to waste time instead of processing a budgeting loan. I managed to get it done on the phone today in four minutes flat (nice work call centre, thank you) and I should have it in a couple of days. I then got an automated message in my journal that it's approved, with details of my repayment schedule, followed by a human response 10h later that I'm not eligible for it. I hope the latter is a dumb mistake, but it's so bloody annoying! I've fired off a rant and demanded a mandatory reconsideration - I want to knock out my maintenance arrears as well. UC should then also reimburse the child care in around a month under the standard deal. Touch wood.

I've felt really flat for the past week and I'm mentally drained. I'm still struggling just to give things away when a little voice is trying to tell me to stop and sell it. I got so fed up with this "property anchor" clutter that I've just deactivated my Vinted page and loaded up five bags for the charity shop. 👏

I bought a toasted sandwich maker yesterday to make pancakes in, and it's beyond disappointing - it is just so slow that it's impractical, 20 minutes to even vaguely look done. Once I recover from the disappointment I might try as thin crepes.

I did manage to sell my dining table + 2 chairs, for £20 (I never used it) and gifted them two extra folding chairs as well. I have someone coming to buy my white wardrobe for £25 - when you never open it, you don't need it OR its contents. 😂 I will be glad of a little bit more space.

Invoices and Paradigm Shifts

I have received my first childcare invoice and am in the process of having it reimbursed by Universal Credit. And apparently, I also have the option of a budgeting advance of £800. The world doesn't end if they say no, but it would feel good to have my maintenance arrears taken care of. It would help motivate me to get the flat ready for sale.

Along those lines I did a big shop at German Supermarket on UC day and while I was there I spotted paint for £13. In white. So I bought two. It was like cementing a major decision, yes, I'm now mentally committed to a very minor flat makeover. It's like putting lipstick on a pig, but first impressions matter, and it might mean £1,000 more on the sale price. 🙏

The grocery component came to £42, which is on the high side. It was intentional though... In my new mindset of not clinging to every object, I'm also relaxing the vice grip on penny-pinching. There's so many things I've denied myself and Little X which are beyond fair. This week she's had fruits and nuts she's never tried before. Party rings. Flavoured crisps. Orange squash. I know a toddler doesn't need all this every day, but it's well overdue for her to have a touch of normality. I don't want her to grow up terrified of spending every penny. I will still choose budget options, but no more basic denial of entire food groups.

Bought: £100 voucher for above-mentioned German Supermarket, then Everup had a 6.25% offer for Fave Mainstream Supermarket so I spent another £100 on that. Between them I got loads of points and played them through the games, ended up with £13 in the account for my next voucher. These vouchers also help steer me away from Nearby Less Cheap Supermarket. 👍

Actionism

I'm sure that's not a word, but it was my attempt not to accidentally re-use a previous heading. Anyway, twice this week after taking Little X to nursery and hacking up a lung, I Got Stuff Done™, two major pieces of furniture are emptied and ready for sale, several items are ready to give away, a huge bag of stuff went into the bin and I gathered 9 bags for charity. I donated them this afternoon and it felt really good to be free of them. I even managed two loads of washing. 😇

The milestone is that a quarter of my excess stuff is now gone. I am aiming for 100 bags and that's 25 done. 💪

Debt Charity asked why I hadn't paid my May instalment and I snapped back with the cancellation agreement they sent me in March. I then got an enquiry of was I having problems affording the May payment or had something happened to affect my budget? I had to shout (in text) to make the try reading what I sent them, and that they clearly hadn't cancelled things like they promised. So that was entertaining. The first bank has actually notified me they've defaulted 🎉 although I can't see it anywhere on my credit files yet. It's still a waiting game. 

Feeling: energised. 

The Opportunities

I need to (re) start seeing unfortunate situations as opportunities. I had a tiny win today in that missing work gave me a child-free day to clear out junk. Not having so many clothes will let me have less furniture and more space: that's the next one I hope to achieve.

Spending money on disposable nappies frees up my washer, my time and my space. This is a sacrifice I should have made earlier. It also makes me take my rubbish out in a timely manner. 

Mr Money Mustache said: Wear the tight trousers. If your trousers are too tight, and you solve that issue by buying bigger clothes, you have lost the chance to lose weight, feel better, improve your health and save money. I need to feel uncomfortable right now in my dingy, cluttered, too-small, ugly and messy flat. It is the impetus to, not vaguely aim to spend on renovation slowly over a period of ten years, but to cut my losses, concentrate on what matters, and improve my life. Even if it's not earning me a profit. If it was going to be doable to capitalise and profit, I've had long enough, so I need to accept that it just isn't in me.

I am a work in progress! 

It's Just So Uncomfortable.

I could apply the title to a lot of things right now but for the very least, still being horridly sick and not having much money at hand. And they're related. I've lost £300 from this stupid lurgy and that would have paid almost half what I owe for maintenance charges. More than that, it's uncomfortable seeing only double digits in the bank. It isn't really a big drama, there's not really anything I urgently need and it's almost UC day, it's just weird.

I had been determined to replace the microwave this week. But for the thousandth time I wonder why I made plans at all, when this is me, and shit always goes wrong to ruin plans. I've made a (small) decision not to do any flat remodelling before sale so that expense has been removed from my list. I've also removed the "next car" fund since I can keep this car till it dies then use emergency funds. The list still seems overwhelming and ridiculous. It seems like the bottom ones will never happen because of the top ones - and new ones which will inevitably be inserted, like the maintenance charge for 2026, etc. 

What practical things did I do of late? Little X was in nursery today and while the house was empty I did some housework. I rearranged some things to give me space to move, sorted some items that I may sell, threw out four bags of clothes and junk, and put one bag into the car for donating. 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 The biggest win was emptying a large "junk bag", I have a terrible habit of throwing junk into a bag that I don't want to deal with, and then it just becomes part of the furniture. It felt good to put most of it in the bin, to actually dispose of things that were still technically useful but which I simply do not need. I think it comes down to this: if a buyer came along and I could take just one car load and move, leaving all the other "stuff" in here behind, would I go? And it's yes. I keep stuff in fear of a scarcity which does not match my actual needs. I need to break this habit and live more simply, with less. 

Day 8 of Lurgy

It's just a minor cold. I didn't even feel unwell. Until the evening of the 7th day, of course, when I had a tickly cough. Wake up day 8 and feel horrendously ill with body aches, and I can see the infection in my throat. I really hope Little X hasn't felt like this. But, I have four days at home before work, so fingers crossed I get well in time. 🤞

She's been singing "Five Little Ducks". There's not really actual singing, the only sound is a vague attempt at the quacking, but there are actions, the single finger held up, bouncing up and down then going "over the hill and far away" ie, behind her ear. This morning she said "cuh ba-" at the end (come back) and started clapping. It was honestly so cute. 😍

I did manage to drag myself over to the baby bank today and picked up a dozen long-sleeved shirts for her. I hadn't thought we would need them over summer, but her eczema is now on the arms, so long sleeves it is. I didn't find the simple car or garage toy I was hoping for. On the plus side, half a bag came home while 6 bags went in their direction! 👏 #decluttering

We also managed to get the grocery shop done. I was far too optimistic about the small shop we were going to do and I spent more than I wanted to. But here we are. My microwave now looks seriously ill - it's looked terrible for ages but the paint is completely lifting underneath and I now suspect half the energy isn't even ending up in the food, so I will be buying one from work this week (£40.49 with my discount). I also want a pancake maker to create veggie waffles for Little X, but that will have to wait a bit longer. The maintenance arrears bill is on my mind and I've missed a week of work, you see. I still have £700 of arrears which I hope will be repaid by end of June. 🤞

I Could Have

... pushed through and gone to work today. We're both snotty, but on the mend. I know that if we'd gone in, she'd be stumbling around exhausted at nursery, unable to get herself to relax. It was the right decision even though I feel lazy.

I'm second-guessing my vague game plan of having all ducks in a row then selling my flat. I'm wishing it was sold already. Maybe I'd be better off slapping paint over the rough walls, decluttering and selling without moving first. 🤔 It would be worth less, but possibly be better for us overall. 

I haven't decided about that... but I have decided to stop with reusable nappies. They take up too much space and they're becoming less pleasant as kiddo ages. I did my bit. (Ye gods am I becoming like a Boomer, I'm older now so who cares about the environment?)

The new perspective on stuff: I had originally bought more furniture to store my stuff. Now I want the furniture gone because it has allowed me to have too much stuff. I need to be less attached to keeping things "just in case" or because "it's worth something". 🤔

One more card issuer has closed my account. The debt charity is still sending me statements and behaving as if our (cancelled) arrangement is still full-steam ahead... Several banks are still referencing the (cancelled) debt management plan (including the bank which has handed by debt over to a debt collection company). Nobody seems bothered that this DMP isn't actually doing anything. I'm kinda intrigued how long this odd limbo will go on. 

Tail-Chasing

I've now been back at work for two weeks - four shifts completed so far - and I'm tired. Physically, I was an old lady after the first two shifts, rediscovering muscles I had forgotten existed (and I am certainly not doing physically-strenuous work, in fact, I've had it easy). But Little X, while utterly unconcerned at being left at nursery and not particularly relieved when I return, is equal parts clingy and utterly shattered on the days following each visit. She has thrown her nap schedule into the bin, refusing to sleep for the entire day at nursery and crashing into slumber as soon as we're home, closing on 5pm. Even on the "at home" days she falls asleep early and then insists on staying awake for the entire afternoon, resulting in a cranky kiddo. I wish I didn't need to work. It's nice to have adult conversation and my workmates have welcomed me back warmly but it's playing havoc with the mummy/kidlet energy levels.

Work is also a bit of a revolving door of staff. Favourite mini boss is leaving. 😭 I am disappointed but not surprised. Buddy-miniboss was sacked 😲 and replaced with Bert from Sesame Street, utterly dull. Newbie Miniboss #2 is apparently popular and seems nice, I will call them Slim Shady. I already lost Good Boss to a sister store and his replacement is totally Frasier from Cheers. Even poor Big Boss is clearly burnt out and has been remarkably candid about it all, saying that Frasier just doesn't jive the same way and the workplace culture has shifted under pressure from above. The whole feel has changed. We are all in there to work, collect our pay and leave. It isn't the cuddly helpy family it used to be. Even Model, who used to be emotionally invested, now seems cold and robotic. But as long as the company gives me the freedom I have earned, I'll stay (although money is also the only reason I'm there now myself). 😁

Sigh, on top of all the other reasons I need this money, I've received my accounts for the flat maintenence charge and thanks to their shitty creative retrospective increased accounting, I "owe" even more than I should. Worse, they are going to bill me for more of the major building work than they should. I am frankly disgusted and it's an amount that means I will need to pursue this formally (if not legally) but before I can go down that route I have to pay everything they claim I owe - and then fight it afterwards. I don't have enough to do that just yet. It will take me a few months. It's very disheartening. Time to change that list there on the right, and hope they are so disorganised that the building works don't get arranged for another year. Time also to rethink my longterm plan, which seems so hard to get my brain around, when the goalposts just keep moving.

The £634 for my NI contribution is safely tucked away and I am reassured they have my info and will be in touch soon to collect it.

I have a monster cold (as does Little X) and mine is a sinus infection and we are irritated at the world. I'm hoping it goes away in the next 3 days so I don't have to miss work. 🤞

Received: several letters from banks that certain things "might" happen if I don't X, Y Z. So far none of the "might"s have actually been of any consequence. Only one has passed on my account, and so far, no contact from the new administrator. The debt management company agreed I was definitely not going ahead with them, but is asking for payments still... I suppose it's extra unintentionally stalling. 🤷

Routine

I always buy a supermarket gift card when TopCashBack has their bonus deal. This time it was a £2 bonus as usual but the minimum spend has gone up to £10. Still very worthwhile to me, so, done deal this week. I did also go to Food Club, an exercise becoming ever-more tedious because the prices have gone up, so the saving is lower. We did stay for lunch. 

I need to move more. I'm getting stiff and sore just sitting for a couple of hours on the sofa. Not to mention it's now pretty uncomfortable since its last repair (the first few times I replaced the support strapping, but that keeps failing within weeks, so I gave up and hammered wooden slats across instead). It sure isn't the sofa's fault that I'm unfit, though. 😳 I need to actually get off my butt. Little X could do with the air, sun and stimulation, too.

The mailbox is still remarkably empty. It feels odd not to have the banks really demanding their money. It means I just twiddle my thumbs until each Universal Credit pay day. That's the day I dole out the money (admittedly there are not very many bills to pay anymore) and otherwise my most productive money thoughts are "imagine if I did X" and "I need to buy bread and milk soon". 🤔 

I have two offers from German Supermarket: spend £25 to get £5 off (I need to do this by tomorrow) and a second one for a free fiver if I spend £30. Unfortunately they can't be combined. I'm definitely going to struggle to actually do the second one, I'd end up either buying junk or buying rarely-used items I could get from Food Club for much cheaper. 🤔 The big-ticket items are robot lawnmowers and picnic benches, so that's a no, thank you. I'll have to think about it.

Old-School Bargains

I dropped Little X at nursery during the week for her last trial session and since I knew we were running out of her vitamins, I walked around to the children's centre to pick some up. This was a dangerous move as I haven't been non-groceey shopping in a very long time and it left me in close proximity to several charity shops with 45 minutes left at my parking spot.

I went in hoping to find myself some black trainers for work. I've been needing to buy some for two years 😬 and my soles are very close to letting water in through the bottom. I actually got lucky in the second shop so my new £3.50 memory foam trainers are currently in the wash, and I am really pleased. I also picked up a singing book for Little X for 20p - we have another one in the set so this will be a winner. It needed new batteries though so £1.50 has gone to ebay on those.

Lastly I got a Fisher-Price toy phone for £1.50. I'm not entirely sure Little X will ever play with it but it was a nostalgia thing. I remember having one as a kid and it formed part of every game of "shops". One of the mums at Baby Group heard us discussing retro toys last year and she excitedly jumped onto Vinted to find one. Never mind that she was born in 2005 and has never used a house phone herself or played with the same toy as a child 😂 she just thought it would amuse her grandmother to see it! This is where we are, in three generations the home phone entered our lives and is already leaving.

It struck me just now that these are finds I would have told my mum about. It's OK though, I can be happy that she taught me how to find a bargain. 🙂

The Strides

I am pleased to recount that Boss man has approved my fixed days and hours 👏 so the countdown begins. We've done a few settling-in sessions at nursery and Little X is unconcerned when I leave - I watched her through the window today after I'd been "gone" for 15 minutes and she was toddling around with toys in hand and doing her own thing. It feels like a milestone accomplished. Although... It takes a silly amount of time to pack Little X's things the night before and to prepare her food in the morning - with everything labelled. And so far it's only one meal. I may just come undone when it's water bottle, milk, breakfast, lunch, two snacks and then I have to make my own lunch 😂

I have offered longer days to Boss and in return he is happy for me to take unpaid leave for the nursery holidays not covered by my leave entitlement. I will still be under the earnings threshold for Universal Credit so I will keep all my earnings. But I was disappointed to realise that by agreeing to the bigger-than-planned contract, I will lose most of my council tax reduction. Honestly it's no wonder there are people who don't work for a decade... I will be working for about £8 an hour once that slap combines with my nursery fees and my transport costs. Oh well, let's call it cheaper than therapy. 

I may try to find a home child carer for holidays so that I can work those weeks too. We'll see.

I had an unexpected win this week, I picked up a handbag and heard a jingle of coins, ka-ching. I've spent far too much on "unexpected" things for the past few weeks but the coins meant that going to German Supermarket cost me only a pound from my bank account. Most of the Favourite Supermarket vouchers remain unused, but German Supermarket was on the way to where I was already driving. We did manage to get over to Food Club this week and ate a nice toastie for lunch.

Got my £100 for the food research. ✅

Can I?

While I spend many hours calculating where my money is going to (and then some), I know from experience that Things Happen™, and it's irritating. I can figure out what I'll be able to save in theory, but then unexpected things upset the budgetary apple cart. Little X might love nursery and I might feel organised and energetic and I may work extra days. Or the reverse could be true.

At a rough calculation, on current known figures, I decided I might be ready to do the first half of my renovation in January 2027. That's really irritating and frustrating. It seems like as each major expense gets knocked out, some other one will step in and take its place, sucking all the spare pounds away to things that don't benefit me in the slightest. I must try to harness that feeling to work harder to earn money and get ahead with my savings.

I redid my widget thingy because it was a pain changing every item every week. The figures make an enormous total. How do people, like, live? Those aren't even things I want for myself, or in any way crazy or extravagant, but on my tiny income they look ridiculous. It's a bit demoralising.

I know this mood is just a blip. I'm trying not to dwell on these realities and get on with, well, life. This too shall pass. 

Dumb Things

This piece of musical brilliance is in honour of today's shopping escapades. I went to Big Bargain Shop to spend the rest of the credit on my perks card and bought too much to fit in my freezer. Then for Everything Else at German Supermarket, I overspent and emptied the cash in my purse, forcing me to whip out the debit card. It was only £4, but I'm irritated, we do not need to buy £54 of groceries in one day! 

We toured another child care centre today and despite being pricy, it's the winner. I can claim from the whole fee, there are no extras, and they've offered to let me pay in instalments. ♥️ It's a lovely, kind environment and (winner!) most kids DIY lunch from home so Little X would not be the only one. ♥️ Time to lock the days in with Boss. I did buy markers, plain labels and snack boxes for Little X's nursery lunch, and a small backpack. 

I also decided to buy her a set of table and chairs, crayons and paper. Lately it feel like she's sorta missing out on certain things and experiences. I refuse to do paint or play doh (I'm sure she'll do those at nursery) but she can certainly learn to sit on a chair and scribble with a crayon. I must summon the confidence to put her into the Beach Play group in May and take her down to the sand and water play area nearby. 

I know that nursery is why I went nuts on shopping. She's not even starting full days for another 2 weeks, but I'm paranoid about packing lunches that look "acceptable" 🤦🏻‍♀️ and in her getting used to a broader range of foods. I suppose I just want my small human to be like every other kid, even though she is stuck with me! 

Anyway. Debt Charity have acknowledged my cancellation (good). It looks as though I will get a small cost-of-living payment in April (good) and hopefully the Nationwide bank bonus as well as their annual Fair Share bonus (not sure, they've promised me the first one, but I kinda owe them loads of money). Food research says I will get my payment soon. April is looking good, now to see what sort of debt letters turn up...

Horse-Holding

I was looking at the home page of a nearby preschool, wondering if they might take Little X next year so that I could return to work when she's older. To my surprise they take babies and their fees are very low. I have RSVP'd for their open night which just happens to be next week. They're full at present. Realising that they might not be the only ones though, I contacted two more. One has definite space (woo) and has invited me to visit (woo) but they are not cheap (boo). 👏 It's a five minute drive away, but like the first place I visited, parking is 💩 so it looks as though I will need to invest in a waterpoof jacket if the centre looks good. I think despite the cost and inconvenience, I will need to go ahead. 

Six toddler-sized toy cars arrived in the mail, thank you sis. They are a huge hit and a very-tired Little X began crying tonight as she wanted to pick up all 6 to show me, but couldn't manage to get them all into her hands at once. 😂 It was absolutely adorable. She is obsessed. I may need to hide three of them for a while to manage the frustration.

Council tax bill is only £22 per month. 👏 I have bought supermarket vouchers to get the cashback again, because apparently, I am being responsible with my food spending and it will be ok to stop using cash. Unexpectedly found enough in my Everup account to cover me for this month, yay. I should spend the last few pounds of my work bonus card credit somewhere, probably at Frozen Food Warehouse. And I must haul myself off to Big Cheap Clothes shop soon and use an old voucher which is still hanging around.

I recalculated my maintenance arrears for the flat. I am still not really sure what I owe, because they only send accounts once a year, but it looks like it's £1,500. I found a note in my phone were I've written that I owe more, though, so... well right now I've put £1,500 in my goals list over there ---> and if it's the bigger amount I will just deal with it somewhere in the future. I think it was remembering this missing debt which prompted me to look again at various childcare options. Keeping my work income would make such a difference. 🙏

I've also cancelled my DMP in preparation for self-management. Here's hoping it's as straightforward as it seems.

Ughness

So I've weighed it up and down and round about. There doesn't seem to be appropriate, affordable child care that will mesh with my changing work rota, so I'm going to give notice. I could have fought for fixed shifts or phoned a hundred home carers, but to tell the truth it will be a relief.

Another bank has locked my online account and two of them on my credit score show as "late payment". Neither has communicated anything but it's progress. Also, Debt Charity fixed the account that was messed up. 👍 But I'm still going to dump them shortly and go it alone.

This week I went over £1,000 in my "everything" fund. 🥳 And I still have grocery money left, with six days to go.

I am currently watching the Michael Sheen documentary where he wants to buy a million pounds of consumer debt and kill it for 100k. At the moment he seems genuinely perplexed as to why banks are making such an insane amount of interest out of the poorest in society - 40 or even 50 percent. I could tell you why mate, it's because so many of them will be unable to pay. You know, because they're the poorest. In all honesty they (we) shouldn't have been allowed to borrow it in the first place, being such high risk.

Real change needs to be about indoctrinating our children into saving for a rainy day. Not just a few pounds, but permantently living below their means. It hasn't been a thing since before the Baby Boomers were born.