Uncomfortableness

I have had a few days of mehhhhh-ness, essentially too much time on my hands and not enough money to sort out my bill situation. Quite a few paid surveys have been done, I've applied for one metric quadzillion market research projects, and I've sent my CV off to employers, and still, I will (in March) reach a situation where the "In" doesn't cover the "Out". As I've noted in the past I will need something like 10-12 hours of overtime each week, which is... possibly doable. But thanks to the unpredictable nature of my work, some weeks there will be 0, so I'll need to work 50 hours when the hours are there, or even ten days straight at times.

I have resisted, furiously, the idea of a food bank, mainly because my situation is both self-inflicted and partly a choice (here's me thinking of going into further debt to fly across the world). If I were purely selfish, I just wouldn't go, but honestly, my mum needs me, so it's something I need to do.

Anyway, there's a new project opening, a social supermarket run by volunteers. I struggled hugely with this because there is no question it's partly stocked by donations. But in the end, I have applied and I hope to be successful. It isn't free, there's a membership fee and also the items aren't free, but it's much cheaper. I suppose I got to the point where I reasoned that having to work seven days a week isn't normal or acceptable, even for someone as stubborn and self-reliant as me, especially when I would still be struggling even if I do that.

And so, touch wood, I will do both. I will shop at this food group and also work seven days a week, and hope like hell that I can gradually get out of this hole.

Wish me luck.