Sheeple, Lattes, Gym Memberships, Netflix and The Truth About Buying A Home

Down with this sort of thing!

Life is a choose-your-own-adventure. Nobody makes you turn to page 31.

But the way people are shouting about home ownership these days, you'd think someone held a gun to their heads. Kirstie Allsopp is in the news because she dared to suggest people give up small things to save for a deposit.

Cue the marching band and the people waving signs: shouting about average home prices, massive deposits needed, homes now costing 15x your salary, ownership being unaffordable. It's a huge, thronging, angry mob, stirred up by social media and even the traditional media, which repeats with glee ad nauseum how fast prices are rising and how impossible it is for first-time buyers these days.

The insane amount of people who've "done the sums" on Kirstie's advice have all missed the point. Kirstie wasn't providing a bespoke, step-by-step mathematical formula based on either the average house buyer or the exact person who happened to be reading it right at that moment. It's pointless doing the calculations based on averages, unless you happen to tick all the "average" boxes. And averages, let us remember, are pushed up by wealthy people. Averages include the Soho 18yo who was gifted half a million pounds by his rich parents. Averages are for school exams, a place where, I might remind you, Joe had 27 watermelons and ate four. Averages are not for real life, unless your name is Joe and you usually eat four watermelons.

If you work fulltime and have done all that mathematical working and concluded you can never afford to buy, have you tried challenging any of the assumptions? The averages assume that you're spending about £250k. Have you tried looking at cheaper properties? Maybe you already checked the areas you like, and there's nothing cheaper. Have you tried cheaper areas? Maybe you did, but you didn't find what you need. Maybe you assume you can't, because of work. Have you tried challenging what you need - could you cope with smaller? Uglier? Further? A change of job?

Or did you just assume that your entire list of what you need is not-negotiable and therefore it's hopeless? If you still think that, then this article is not for you. I wish you all the best and please drive though, do not pass "GO" and do not collect £200.

(Side note: If any of your mental comments for the last two paragraphs included the word "London", or really any expensive city, then you'll likely think none of this can apply to you, because this city is (insert excuse here). Special words for you: Living where you are is a choice. If you choose to live in Ripoff Town and you won't move out of Ripoff Town and you can't afford Ripoff Town then you haven't been the victim of the state of housing prices today - you have actively chosen not to buy a home. If you feel like you have no choice, then more than likely it's because of circumstances you created for yourself and choices you actively made. Life is a choose-your-own-adventure and you have chosen the path that leads to this. Again, please either change one of the items in your "needs" list or please drive through.)

Here's a list of what "average" people think that sacrifices mean giving up.

Takeaway coffee, McDonalds, gym membership, pay TV, nail and hair appointments, the week at Butlins or even in Spain, going to the football, nights out at the club, car washes and valets, the latest iPhones, the latest anything.

Here are ways which others have done - and you do not have to do it their way and nor should you - but here are so, so many ways to make up the "shortfall" in the angry-mob-calculations.

Rent a bedsit. Buy yellow stickers. Live in a share house. Get food for free (Olio) or at reduced prices (Too Good To Go app). Watch YouTube. Skip meat once a week for an omelette instead. Don't pay for parking, park free then walk a few blocks. Dumpster dive. Borrow things, don't buy. Delete your shopping apps. Join free groups on Facebook, and rehome the items other people don't need. Eat from your freezer. Sell your TV. Pack a sandwich for work. Collect points when you shop. Don't buy plastic bags. Charity shop. Ignore "best before" dates. Make coffee in a flask. Jacket potato with beans. Dry your clothes on an airer. Sell what you don't need. Say yes to overtime. Balance transfer your credit card. Make a shopping list and stick to it. Take a second job. Move locations. Jog around the park. Change careers to avoid needing to live in expensive areas. Do a no-spend month. Sniff your milk (don't bin it). Delay your vacation. Do Market Research. Skip the pub lunch or eat at home then just buy hot chips. Walk. Sell your old phone. Delay university. Pay in cash. Unsubscribe from your favourite online shops. Downgrade your internet plan. Say no to instant food and learn a new recipe or three. Take a water bottle when you leave the house. Put on extra clothing and turn down the heat. Leave your money at home. Do comparison shopping. Buy generic brands. Go to the library and borrow something. Find a cheaper phone plan. Switch off the lights. Use cashback sites. Do surveys. Check your bills are correct. Ask for a discount. 

Pick one or pick them all or pick your own instead. But pick something and keep at it because good things take effort.

Baaaa.

Distrust every single article, news report, social media post or whiny, defeatist comment that you hear from a friend, which says it's too hard these days - even if you do it silently. The biggest challenge to achieving a financial goal is letting anyone talk you into giving up. Others, or even telling yourself. Things are definitely hard - and harder than they ever were before. But you know what's a guaranteed fail? Blindly accepting someone saying: you can't do this.

Who wants to be a sheep, all they do is wander around saying "Baaaa!"? Sheep don't buy houses, have you noticed?

Nobody's setup is the same, because are are not all sheep who look identical and walk around the field eating grass. (Eating grass is not a money-saving tip that I can recommend.) So do all your maths again - including the parts that start like this: "So what about if I do this, and save this much each month... how does the maths look now? What if I change this need to something else... what if I change this part... what if I make this sacrifice... what if, what if, what if?

Repeat 100x. Change something different every time. Keep asking the questions. Do the maths again next month. Change more things, consider more changes. Eventually you will have your "answer" on how to do it and that's when you decide if you're willing to do it. Maybe the answer is no, and you won't move two hours away from your sister. Or maybe you'll zoom call her and visit once a month so that you can buy your ugly box in another town and finally be free of paying rent.