Hack-y New Year

I am horrendously ill with a nasty cold, cough and sore throat, and am tired of the pain and the general annoyance of it all.

There, I've gotten all my complaining out of the way :)

I wandered down to the high street - I had managed not to shop for an entire week! It isn't that impressive considering what I spent last time I went shopping. But things such as milk do eventually need replenishing, plus, my home pharmacy has been seriously depleted by the flu.

Also, I mainly wanted some postcards for entering more competitions. Ahem. Alas, I left it a bit late for the tourist shops, and I lucked out in Poundland. I did, however, spend unplanned money in there. £6.50, in fact. That place has quicksand for a floor.

Christmas cards, cupcakes,
candy canes and glue.
Not pictured:
hair dye and five pairs of socks.

The cupcakes and candy canes were a necessity. The cards, being A5 size, are being cut up to make 40 postcards. At less than 2p each, they're also a quarter of the price of ordering bulk postcards online.

Also spent: £12.00 worth of sprays, drops and tablets to fight the lurgy. £8.40 in stamps to enter competitions. £5.09 at Tesco on survival topup food.

BLINK and more than thirty quid is gone!

Arrived: a mini, nay, a tiny hair straightener that I ordered off Amazon a while back. It works, it just takes forever due to its size. But it was £2.29 including postage and it's really only for my fringe at the front, so it's still good!

Plans for new year: eat cupcakes and stay home :)

Competitions Round Up December 2019

So here is the list of items I've won for December 2019. I have only really concentrated on comping for the latter half of the month, but I thought it would be interesting to keep track of what's come in.

£5 ?? Reindeer jumper
£7 Amazon voucher from an author
£50 voucher for recycled travel mugs (I got six mugs for this!)
£20 raffle ticket on Rev Comps for the R1M Motorbike & Cash Mega Draw (yeah, I can't ride, so winning one of the bikes would've been funny lol)

Total: £82 for two weeks.

I calculate this as "earning" £2,000 per year. Except for the fact that you can't pay bills with any of these things. And it's not quite enough to retire on just yet! :D If I had valued them according to what I would have paid for essentials, and ignored the things I would not have bought, then I would have earned... £300 per year. However, for the purposes of my 2020 £2020 Challenge and my January £3 Challenge, I will be counting competition earnings as full value income.

Let's see how January goes... lately I've had more energy for comping than doing surveys (me lazy).

The January £3 Challenge: A Challenge-Within-A-Challenge

I have already briefly mentioned the 2020 £2020 Challenge (whereby the aim is to earn an extra £2020 in 2020, by means of extra earnings effort outside of your salary). But I've seen another one recently and I think it might give some added "oomph" and not take quite as long :)

It's the one-a-day challenge, and it operates month-to-month. (There are a lot of hyphens everywhere, evidently.)

The deal is that you set a goal to earn each day, and you see whether you're reaching the average each month, and you keep increasing it until you can make £10 per day. That'd be well over the 2020 £2020 if I could manage that - and looks very ambitious! - so I'm starting with £3 per day for January, which I should be able to manage.

If it proves too easy, I'll then set a higher amount for February.

Realistic plans beat a New Year's resolution any day, in my humble opinion... what's the point of a resolution if you haven't figured out how you'll keep it? So here's one for me. The January £3 Challenge. Watch this space.

Achievement for the day: blog facelift.

Freebies: two pints of milk, half a loaf of bread, four mini omelettes, butter, cherries, tonic water, orange juice.

Disgustingly ill with a cold (lost another week of work). Still working my way through holiday food leftovers!

Post-Christmas Food Coma

So as I hinted earlier, I ventured into the supermarket on Christmas Eve. It's a good thing I didn't plan on a budget challenge because the total was horrific, and I didn't even go over-the-top (compared with lots of people).

It's been quite a long time since my shopping bill last started with a 4, put it that way.

Included in the shop were some yellow sticker bargains:

Bread, apples, chicken pie, cooked chicken, chocolate eclairs and sliced turkey

These are not even insane discounts either - I suspect Boxing Day will see a mad pile of yellow stickers at the shop but I don't think I'm mad enough to go! I'm kicking myself for not buying another four of the chicken, though.

Not included in the pic were a whole roast chicken (no halves left!), coleslaw, hummous, trifle, ham, fruit cake, sprouts, fruit, nuts, biscuits, crisps, and most importantly, a huge box of Guylian chocolate seashells. And more bits and pieces that I needed and which weren't really Christmas treats.

I really do have an insane amount of food here and I'm hoping I can delay my next shop by about seventeen years. Wish me luck.

Merry Christmas

Sooo I slept late because I can, then relaxed and ate chocolate for breakfast, because I can. The plan was to take a picnic lunch down to the waterside.

And here's the picnic lunch:

BBQ chicken, ham, turkey, bean salad, coleslaw, tomatoes.
Chocolate seashells, chocolate orange, Pringles, cheeses & crackers, mince pie.
Trifle and apricot.
And it's not coffee in that travel mug.

And here's my face squinting, and me crying in the incredibly hot and bright glare.

Just kidding, I'm not publishing that photo. But in all seriousness it was actually too hot and bright to eat there. I packed up and went in search of a shady place, but then I couldn't find a dry bench, so I came home. I did take a bunch of selfies of course, but most of them show me with eyes shut haha.

The waterside was incredibly busy with people considering it's Christmas Day. I only saw one restaurant open and it was mostly empty. There was a huge number of people just ambling along in the sunshine and wishing each other a happy day.

The plan now is to relax, watch The Nightmare Before Christmas, drink my cider, win both a motorcyle and a Jaguar in the raffles this evening (there might be a flaw in that plan) and just generally do whatever I wanna.

I hope your day is filled with whatever you wanna. x

Holiday Time

I've been in two minds about what to do with myself on "the day" and I've struggled to decide. Part of me thought I should go to the community centre to have lunch with everyone else who was alone. Part thought I should watch Christmas movies at home with a decadent lunch, and part of me wanted to pretend the day doesn't even exist. It's the third Christmas I've spent alone, but I think this year it got to me because I've been a bit down over the past few months and spent far too long thinking about my lack of friends.

My last blog entry went live early in the morning before I went to work on the 22nd... so I'd thought I had a nice enough birthday. People were kind, I got cards, they simply thought of me, it did wonders for my mood. But my dog, I really do work with the loveliest people. We had another group lunch the following day and they even brought out a sensational Baileys chocolate cake complete with a firework sparkler ♥

And I had some really nice conversations with thoroughly good people. Good people really are great, you know? One thing that stood out was that people are all doing different things... some are working, some will be with family, some with friends, some at tables for 20 and some by themselves. And it's ok. There's not a rule that you have to do Christmas at all, or even in a certain way.

So I've decided for Christmas that I won't be doing the cooked hot dinner shenanigans like last year. Instead, I'm thinking cold barbecue chicken and coleslaw. It's thoroughly Australian, so why not? Besides, I brought home a plate of mixed cheese, some crackers, mini mince pies, and other bits and bobs from our lunch... and I managed to resist the cheese for more than 24 hours! I also need to be watching the live raffle draw at 5pm to see if I win the motorbike (I got a free ticket from Rev Comps).

Entering a supermarket on Christmas Eve is shopping hell, but I'm now contemplating just such madness for my barbecue chicken and my coleslaw.

Sun Rotation Complete

I survived another one... a few extra grey hairs and wrinkles! And a few lovely gifts from people. :)

I also had the "joy" of my benefits application being completely cancelled due to "not providing evidence". Nobody in either the phone centre or the job centre is actually sure which evidence I didn't provide. They eventually collected evidence that I still study, still have a home, still exist and still have a bank account. Last month I earned £2 too much to get anything and what's the bet this happens again and all the paperwork gets cancelled in mid-January again without warning...

YES it's a great system. YES it's a good use of taxpayer money to have me sit there for half an hour while they click things, apologise to me and curse at the screen in confusion. Yes. Cough.

I have been turning on the blow heater when the wind outside is howling, and I sure felt the sting of the power costs this week. My meter is coin-operated (don't get me started) and before, I was mostly just annoyed at having to find coins for it. Now I'm annoyed that my radiator turns off during the day. Oh well. I will have to rug up and be less of a sooky baby.

Six of these bad boys!

I'm trying to be more active with earning money online, but it's a trap hahaha - some sites can easily keep you busy all day and only hand over a pittance as the reward. Time to get more selective methinks and stick to the best ones!

Recieved: £4.55 from Crowdology.
Also, my recycled coffee cups arrived from rCup :)
And 8 free organic flavoured teas from Pukka.

Ooh, and I found a free way to enter a regular raffle - well free as in "send a postcard" entry. So not quite free, but definitely cheaper than buying the ticket. I have ordered a 30-pack of cheap postcards off eBay and will knuckle down and start entering this way, and try to keep my hand off the expensive tickets!

So I Went To The Beach

I might have accidentally gone into work on the wrong day. Might. I'm admitting nothing. (In my defense, I had merely forgotten that my regular work days change over the Christmas period.)

So anyway, I walked down to the beach, because why not?

Click to view full size

It smelled amazing. And sounded lovely. And was rather too cold for a dip.

So I am currently arguing with myself on the merits of a winter wetsuit. (It's a bit too cold for my shorty wetsuit, and that is my argument. However, wetsuits cost money, which is also my argument.)

Spent: £3 on a casserole dish which fits into my mini-oven, as I didn't have one. Annoyingly, I couldn't find one with an oven-proof lid, but at least it has a plastic lid for the fridge.
Spent: £210 on MOT and four new tyres for Pugsley, whose shoes were a little bit worn out, but who otherwise came through unscathed.

Mystery solved: The gift voucher was for a company which manufactures kitchenware products from recycled materials. I found some cool stuff in their shop and they were kind enough to waive the shipping cost, so once the parcel arrives I will post pics :)

Your Parcel Has Been Delivered

Size: XL (Extra Ludicrous)

My who-what? What parcel? I was a bit worried when I got this text message today, thinking that one of the gifts I bought was perhaps delivered to me by mistake, grrr. But when I grabbed the mail I got a nice surprise, a reindeer jumper that nobody had even told me I had won! Yay :)

It's a very, very generous "medium" size (eyeroll lol), but on the plus side it is made of fleecy fabric and good quality, so I'm very pleased and it's perfect for me.

I'm currently trying to use up the food in my cupboards. I was quite frustrated at just how much I had stockpiled as I packed to move house. There's no excuse for expired food and I need to stop stashing so much away. I am thinking it's time for a food challenge - maybe £10 max spending for 7 days? Watch this space.

Pugsley is booked in for his MOT, so fingers crossed that the mechanic doesn't find anything needing fixing.

Received today: a kitchen plug. Honestly, it is ridiculous to say so but this little piece of rubber really cheered me up because washing up without one is tedious and annoying! #smallthings

I Won: A £50 gift card from a competition in Good Housekeeping. I don't actually know which competition or where I can spend it, as all they've told me is that the prize giver will be in touch... I hope it's not a gift card for a luxury men's shoe shop buahahaha!

The Dance

Me, who earned £10.00 from a fifty-minute study today on Prolific --->

Also me, who won a £7 Amazon voucher from a competition.

I also got my first Testable Minds survey which paid $6.00. Can't complain about the amount, that's for sure! I've only just joined, and it's supposed to be similar to Prolific. I don't really know how this site will go activity-wise, but I have high hopes.

I finally bit the bullet and reduced my credit access. The banks are understandably surprised - "You do understand that this card isn't costing you anything because you aren't using it? And you still want to close the account?" Uhuh.

The card that I kept, which I use for my everyday spending, has a horrific balance this month. Moving house is expensive. I won't have any problem covering it, it's just a sobering total to look at (more than double my usual monthly spend). I'll just keep reminding myself that life is going to be cheaper than it used to be!

Got a gift voucher from work, lovely surprise! :)

I Dared

After many excuses over a long period of time, I went out and behaved as a semi-social being for an evening. I chatted with several new people (slow clap for me) and have tenative plans to keep in contact with a couple of them, so, who knows?

Obviously, I ran out of confidence fairly quickly, and I made it an early night. But still, it's a start, right?

The next step is to be so scared, that I make excuses for so long, that new people forget that I exist... not really ideal, but it'll take effort on my part not to just stay a hermit.

Observation: I have very few clothing options for "going out" which won't result in hypothermia.

Observation #2: Walking back up "Heartbreak Hill" on the way home was incredibly uncomfortable and left me completely out of breath, and I still feel horrible half an hour later... Yes, I do still have the last dregs of a chest cold, but I really need to regain some fitness.

Rude Awakening

Yes, I had one this week, and no, it's not a figure of speech. I was woken up by a small child, howling, over and over. A moment later I realised it was actually the wind howling in through the ancient wood sash windows behind my secondary glazing. Buahahaha.

Work Christmas lunch happened :) Obviously I ate too much and then ate more of it the following day. I don't seem to have much trouble eating when someone else cooks it! And the waistline knows it... I really need to get back to the gym. I had a one hour walk during the week and it was lovely, and reminded me how much I miss exercise.

I think I've settled in at work now, I'm getting better at managing my time. I do still need a second job though so that I can think about a home loan. The search continues.

Struggling with motivation for my studies. As usual.

In: £2.50 from Opinion Outpost for surveys done
In: Free measuring jug from some freebie website
In: stacks of soap and cleaning products I didn't remember I had
Out: £3.61 for naughty McDonalds lunch

I have updated my Surveys list and it now appears as a permanent page at the top of the blog.

Previous landlord has confirmed no issues, and I will have my full deposit returned :)

The Passage Of Time

Sometimes when you look back a bit, you realise that what seemed paramount... really and truly, just isn't as important as you think. Sometimes it just needs time and perspective and the will to let anger go.

Observation: there are not enough easy-to-find guided meditation videos on YouTube and if I weren't busy coughing so much I might create a few. The ones I've listened to either have people who babble on and on or talk about weird stuff. My original teacher in Old Town, despite not being great in her lectures, was really good during the guided meditations and paused quite a lot to let people drift and relax.

#2: the bath is a good place to meditate.

#3: vegetarian sausages can be chopped and thrown into pound shop vegetable soup, improving both.

I have spent some time this week entering competitions, after learning that there's a lady out there who spends two hours a day entering comps and "earns" £15,000 per year from it. I would be happy taking in £1k and obviously would prefer not to spend two hours a day filling in forms. Half an hour is my limit before I go a bit spare and I've little patience for crap requiring me to "tag a friend" or "tell us in 20 words or less".

Unfortunately most of the competitions I find are for things I could neither sell nor use, like a trip to Bermuda for two, or a newborn photoshoot. Even for food and grocery giveaways, I'd rather have the moolah than a case of organic peanut butter. One must continually hunt for the cash prize giveaways.

Old Town flat is officially over and done with, cleaned, tidied and closed the door. Keys returned. As I was taking that last and final look, I actually had a moment of sadness where I thought I might cry. But driving home, car full of stuff and singing Christmas songs, I reminded myself how wonderful it is to be free, to live anywhere I like. ♥

The 2020 £2020 challenge

So this is an idea shamelessly stolen from the MoneySavingExpert's forums, where people are aiming to earn an extra £2020 for the year and putting it into their signatures there. I first thought that it wouldn't work for me (I would continually forget about what I'd earned, I'm sure) but maybe it'd work on my blog.

Some participants say that you can't count where you're buying stuff at a saving, you can only include actual income. Some say you can count the whole amount. I say: that if it's an item you'd have bought at full price, you can count the saving, but only when compared with the brand you'd usually buy. They allow you to use extra hours at work, but I think that's cheating since my income is a bit variable in the first place. Here's the official list:

Overtime / second job
Daily clicks
Interest from bank accounts
Supermarket / shopping vouchers
Yellow sticker savings
Mystery shopping
Survey income/vouchers/gift cards
Profit from selling on eBay etc
Cashback for purchases
Competitions
Freebies

In any case, it might be interesting just to see the pennies I gather, plus my book and art royalties. The latter two are laughable amounts but I suppose it all adds up?

Sidebar widget: done.

2020: not started yet!

Secret Santa is sorted for work. Fortunately, I drew someone easy to gift, and had something already that will work perfectly.

Bored Of Food, As Usual

...and choosing dinner was too hard so I bought spag bol stuffs for a change. So, predictably, it tastes like nothing and I can't eat it. Yawn.

I did manage to get to Old Town and should hopefully only have one more trip to finish cleaning it.

Missed two days of work due to this stupid cold!

#foodResults:
- The spag bol ended with me feeling incredibly ill and I am afraid to eat the four remaining portions.
- The hash browns are awesome, despite being oven-cooked, and have established themselves as a better alternative than chips.
- The vegetarian sausages, while looking like sausages and sort of tasting like sausages, have the texture of soggy bread. I drowned them in salsa.

Rules Are Rules

So Universal Credit has told me (1) I have earned too much, so will get no benefits; (2) I need to prove my new address before the next payment date, and (3) as I am working, they will leave me to meet my commitments on my own. These caused both me and the work coach to laugh ironically. I mean, imagine I ignored the UC rules and they punished me by taking away some of my £0?

There's a local sporting club with a regular "documentary night" each week, and I'm trying to gather the courage to go. It's BYO fish and chips. We'll see. I'd probably make fish fingers at home and take them along in foil.

Tonight's food: hash browns done in the mini oven (for testing purposes in case I go to the club, obviously) and vegetarian sausages, because they were 6 for £1 and obviously need to be tested as well.

Rampant Tightarsery

I spent £19 in the supermarket for the week. I am actually annoyed at the fact that I'm annoyed at £19. I came home with eclairs, chocolate, mince pies, and soft bake cookies. I eat so little that it's really, really bad to be eating "garbage" calories. If I just ate by appetite, I'd end the day having eaten only a piece of toast and whatever milk is in my coffee.

But it got me thinking. I recently skipped a brilliant comedian because it was £25 and I can just watch telly for free. It's not even an obscene amount when I go out so rarely. I am also avoiding a thrillseeker-type activity I have wanted to try for years, because it's £120 for two hours. I just can't bring myself to spend money because I always worry about saving money.

Dinner: half a tin of stewed steak on toast. Pros: It's nice enough and it's £1 a tin from the pound shop. It's a change from beans on toast. Cons: a £1 tin of stewed steak is mostly gravy, so I had a boiled egg for the protein. As usual. I'm absolutely sick of boiled eggs!

Free from work: two cans of lager.

Cannot Even

I am one of those hypocrites who laughs at people posting status updates of "I cannot even". I'm a hypocrite because right now my get up and go has gotten up and gone. I have three days off work and it doesn't seem long enough, despite the fact that I'm already bored before I'm half-way through day one :D

Excuse: I have a cold, which seemed pretty harmless until it decided that my nose was boring and migrated to my throat, a location where it actually bloody hurts.

Achievements for today: finally getting hold of previous-previous council and getting them to move their arses on my council tax refund. Also advised water company that I have moved (not sure if they will still expect me to pay for November). Also applied for a few positions around town - there is really not very much out there aside from cleaners, bartenders and factory workers.

Fail for today: I called the previous council to find out about refund or amount still due on council tax, only to discover their system won't be working until 1pm (I am assuming someone didn't pay their internet bill).

More than 30 alarms so far
...and still going

Speaking of internet, when I checked my data usage for the month I saw that I can upgrade my phone and internet plan. For £2 extra, I would almost double my data and since they keep including my corporate discount from a previous life, I would actually be paying less...

Irritation: they're testing the fire alarm today in my house and it's really loud and seems to need testing at least eleventy dozen times.

Today's Deep Thought

Progress Quest

There's a game called Progress Quest, released almost 20 years ago, a role-playing game where you have absolutely no input whatsoever, the game just plays itself as you watch. Slaying a half-wolf... Eating some berries... Finding an axe... Harvesting firewood...

It is a parody; and somehow it has gained cult status, even though it is utterly ridiculous and there is no actual "playing" but just you, sitting and watching the game play itself and advancing in levels. I have fond memories of me and my co-workers sabotaging each others' PQ to try to overtake each other.

Click to enlarge.
Clicking this image is more interactive than the game itself.

Well, lately my life feels a bit like a real-life game of PQ. I don't seem to have much in the way of long-term goals and I sort of run on autopilot. Sometimes it's all you can do to get through today and anything else seems too hard. Even figuring out your dinner is a chore and eating is an annoying thing that just avoids malnutrition. I feel like I'm just enduring.

I know I need to start counting what I've achieved, instead, even if it's just progress in endurance.

Phone company is annoying me... a nine-minute phone call to Australia last month came in at the same cost as my entire combined internet and phone plan for the month. Excruciating. That, and I've looked at my internet data and it's already half gone and I'm only 9 days into the billing period. Seems like I will be stuck playing solitaire and listening to the radio and making sure I don't watch any TV (which uses up my internet).

Being poor is very expensive!

Chains

I drag my heels on finishing the move. Somehow inertia has me glued into place. I'm struggling to brain on what to do in what order. The end result that I didn't achieve much this morning, so the plans for the afternoon are a hot bath and some job-hunting. It's something.

Snorkelling: not my activity of choice.

I'm putting small things into place to improve my health, both physically and socially. It's tough to find the confidence if I'm honest, but there's a particular activity that I think might work for me. Something that will get me out of the house, as well. I don't want to jinx it right now by saying what it is, but I've started gathering the things I need to get started. These aren't big spends, fortunately. And it's something to look forward to, which makes me feel more positive.

Mood: ok. Still ok. Less mopey today than yesterday :)

Sort of Adulting?

My laptop and desk are moved in so I think that means I've officially moved. It also means I don't really want to be in Old Town anymore, would much rather be here with my most treasured possession :D Happy.

Removalist booked. For a price that makes my eyes water, but still beats the previous quote by more than £100. Moving house is expensive and annoying. #notRecommended

Dinner is two boiled eggs out of my kettle and a tin of vegetable soup warmed up on my radiator... I really need to sort out bringing my microwave and my toaster oven here!

There's a church steeple outside my window and it has a rooster on top. It's a weather vane - I can't figure out whether it is actually still functional, so I'll have to keep an eye to see whether it actually turns in the wind - but in the meantime I was curious as to why a rooster was on top of a church. Apparently Pope Gregory I decreed it the symbol of Christianity somewhere around 590 AD. It represents the fact that Peter would deny Jesus three times "before the rooster crowed". It's known as the symbol of St Peter (even though this particular church is named for St John the Apostle and only dates back to 1823). Oh well. #nowyouknow

New place has heating included in the rent. It's not as warm as I would like... but on the plus side it looks like my electricity costs will be less than half.

Removalist Contacted

And I have a week to pack and generally organise myself. Which is realistically two days, because most of that time I won't actually be in Old Town. Unfortunately, the quote was hideous, so I've contacted some others.

Work is... well it's made me a bit frustrated. I don't think I can blame anyone for it, but the role isn't what I expected. The people are absolutely mint and I would genuinely miss one of them massively if I left, though. When I meet someone new and we just click, and they get me, it's a big deal to me. There are currently attempts to stop me from leaving.

Pictorial representation of me and my workmate.
The microphone to the ear shows that one of us doesn't know what they're doing.

I have attended the Job Centre for my benefits application. It turned out to be a longer appointment than expected, with more strict expectations of me and weekly appointments. That's ok, it was just a surprise (and the meetings will probably be quite a waste of government money to be honest) but hey ho. My first payment - which I expect to be £10 if I'm lucky - will be five weeks away. They also approved another loan, to my surprise, but I'm not about to turn it down. It can pay for the removalist.

Splashing Out

...on exciting things such as a toaster and a bathrobe. #spendyMcSpenderson since a bathrobe is kind of essential when you share a bathroom.

Also bought a padlock for storing my stuff and found time to book the space.

Busy girl even ventured into town to see a free event tonight... wasn't very exciting but was a bit of exercise :)

#adulting for tonight was managing to eat half a cup of veggies and two mashed boiled eggs on a slice of toast. Almost a dinner. Obviously I'm now bursting.

Free autumn coat from work's lost property. And a second one which I'll drop in to the library's free coats stash.

Job Done

Sad face :(

That'll do, Pig.

Behold, the before and after. I really cba to paint the cover. It's just plastic (and not primed) so, too bad if anyone else on the road gets offended by one grey eye.

I've applied for benefits, mostly because if I don't do it now it will just take even longer to sort (gotta love the Universal Credit five week wait). I'm technically on a zero-hours contract even though I'll probably earn too much, but even so, the application will be in, just in case.

It's not easy to find a second job that fits around a current job. I saw one which I'd more than likely get (I've worked for the same company before), but I feel like it would kill me :( The reality of the work out there: the job involves heavy lifting and working after midnight. I don't really understand how people think it's ok to pay minimum wage for that.

In the meantime I just keep doing Prolific surveys*, on a good day it's £10 in my pocket when I'd only be typing in here or watching tv anyway.

Mood: ok. I'm ok. It's better than not being ok, you know?



* referral link

As I've Done Before

4/5 stars. I'll take it.

...I spent a day off trawling money advice forums. Even after several hours of reading, I couldn't figure out whether to close my unused credit cards. In the end I stumbled on an ad for a mortgage broker for poor credit and I thought, you know what? Let's ask their advice. So I've just had a lovely conversation with a gentleman named Iain who asked me to do a combined report, which I did, which shows me as having a "good" rating. The best I've ever had. He seems to think I'll have no problems getting a mortgage at all. What?!

I do have to wait for my next paycheque, but he noted that I don't actually have the factors for "poor credit" at all, and that he can choose a provider which uses the credit reference companies where I seem to rank best. Even with the pay drop of my new job (fewer hours) I am not miles away from where I need to be. This was pretty encouraging news. Now I just need the universe to drop a suitable property in front of me.

I went to meditation class again and the regular teacher is back. Honestly, as nice as she is, she's not a great teacher. I haven't a clue what the topic was in the middle, her mind seemed to wander from one abstract concept to the next. All I really grasped was that virtuous things come from virtuous thoughts and that wheat seeds won't grow rice. There was a large group this time too ( = new people) so I doubt they had any clue where it was all going. I think that might be my last one in Old Town.

Part for my car has arrived and I will try to fit it tomorrow after a vampire appointment at the medical centre.

Feeling: ok. Things are gonna be ok.

Credit Rating Dive

My credit rating has updated for the month and it's predictably hideous. I knew it would be bad, but I think it was still a shock to see the words "very poor". I'm not sure how to address it, whether to close a bunch of accounts or not. I've been told not to, but I have way too much available credit, so it's a catch-22. Fortunately, I don't really have the emotional energy to be at all upset about it.

Still fairly sad. Still feeling pretty lonely. Mostly I feel empty and that everything's too hard (arranging my life, achieving any kind of goal, going along to meet new people for coffee). I ponder "running away" sometimes and then remember that it doesn't solve a thing - I'm already running to a new town and it isn't a magic pill. I try to remember the teacher advising us that we need to allow ourselves our feelings, to feel the painful things, but just not dwell on them.

New work has a discounted gym and indoor swimming pool so I'm going to find out what it costs. I need me some exercise again, I am hoping it will kickstart my appetite. I also found a local meditation group which I might try out. And this town has such lovely gardens, so I should just get my trainers on and view me some trees ♥ every green girl needs her some wooded walks as a regular prescription.

I stayed overnight in the new flat. It was odd. Mostly I missed my own things because I'd only taken the bare minimum and felt like I was camping. But it was kinda reassuring that I can survive with very few possessions. Let's hope I can jettison a lot when I pack to move.

Dumb Things, Lucky Things

I still haven't stayed at the new place. A planned minor surgery has been cancelled, which meant I could go to work instead, so I haven't started packing yet. Annoyance #2 is that they want to do a more complicated procedure with general anaesthetic on me instead, after Christmas and in Old Town, and I won't have anywhere to stay after my surgery and won't be able to drive home on the day. And they won't let me stay at the hospital. Really not sure what I'm going to do, sigh. #lonelylife

Speaking of my new place, it has a smaller bed. I bought the wrong duvet from Sainsbury's and had to get it refunded (£22). Then I remembered I had Tesco vouchers from TopCashBack*, so I toddled off to see if they had the size I need. £5.50. That'll do me. I also got the socket set for my car, £6.

Bought a delicious-looking chicken & chorizo sandwich for dinner and barely choked down the first half before I felt too ill. Incredibly frustrating because I really needed the protein as a bare minimum.

Found out I made a couple of mistakes at work when I was left to work solo after only two days. Another team leader thinks that was unfair and invited me to spend another week with her. Pleased :)

Side-effect of the dramatic weight loss (I'm 20kg down) is I've gone from a BMI of Obese -> Overweight -> Healthy. I am still over the recommended waist/belly measurement. I have severe scarring and hanging belly skin that I absolutely hate more than anything else in this world. It's my biggest negative about myself, and I suspect that it won't shrink much no matter how much weight I lose. Still, I have a visible waist now (!!!!) which finally looks smaller than my hips. And when the belly's under clothing, I am almost a body shape that I can be ok with. I hope that " being ok" will be good enough.

Objectively I can look back and think: Wow. I should be thrilled to have lost so much weight, but just the fact that I'm down right now means I see the negatives of everything. Well, this shall pass in time.

41p for six reduced scones via yellow sticker. Something I don't need, but in theory, I like them, so maybe I'll be able to eat them.

*referral link

Moving and Shaking

Well, not quite. I've given notice on my old flat but still need to book storage space and a removalist.

I booked a quote for my wing mirror but then had a brain fart and googled how difficult it was to replace - and it looks far too easy to be paying someone - so I've just bought the part for £18.77 off eBay and if I really can't fit it, I can go back to the body shop with the part in hand. I need to buy a socket set but I still figure I'll be in front. I also need to get some red auto spray paint, but I'm not too worried if it isn't a perfect colour match.

I went to meditation class again and quite liked the new teacher. It was the same concept as last week but she managed to speak in a way that didn't leave us all lost. She talked about sad feelings and how we can learn to manage the way we react to them - this definitely resonated, as she described the act of overthinking, playing out the same horrible memory over and over, or imagining something awful happening, or just beating ourselves up - meaning that we re-expose ourselves to the same sad feelings and amplify them. I'm sick to death of feeling hurt and sad and lonely and abandoned, but it doesn't help to blame others for my own reactions. My reactions are controlled only by me and I am wholly responsible for how I approach anything in life. It will be useful to get better at meditating and learning not to beat myself up quite so much.

I plan to stay over at my new place tonight. I'm sure that I'll spend half the time looking out my window at the amazing tree view.

(I need to spam the posts for a few days. I have too many saved ones written in advance so all my news will be a month behind real life if I don't.)

Towards Contentment, And Eating

Work is going along. The people are nice. I'm not so sure about the role itself. I feel a sense of déjà vu. This isn't the first time that I've thought I understood what a role would be and it turns out somewhat different. It isn't a job that I can't do - I know I can do it - but I'm worried as to whether it will fulfil me. I seem to be doing tasks I didn't expect. But maybe it's only until I settle in.

I want to be content, and presently my life's upside down. I've thrown in my old job and am not sure about the new one, but I'm already committed to moving so I can't backtrack. My lack of friends and my clingy insecurity meant that a dear friend has cut me out of their life. I am so incredibly hurt and I struggle to deal with that, and I hate that it's all my own doing for being too solitary for too long. I am behind with my studies, and can't manage to pack my apartment or book the removalist. The new town should be the place I want to be but I feel like I'll be continually looking over my shoulder for something else to make me feel even worse.

Contentment has been my aim for many years. I've never gone looking for a life of bliss - imagine you did that, you'd grow bored of it and always want to be even happier. What a way to disappoint yourself! I am happy when my mind has peace. My days are a bit sad right now, but I'm just taking one day at a time. Things are not getting worse, and that counts for something. I'm sort of eating. Baby steps.

Spent: £24 on bits and pieces for my new place. Unpleasant.
£10 on a black zip fleece for work.

Accountability: am now down by 19kg in total and am 6kg above target weight. Starting to doubt whether I will ever be happy with my body. Sigh.

Workplace Commenced, Habitation Secured

I've started my new job and feel like I have mental whiplash. None of it is rocket surgery, but there are so many, many things to remember, and when you've a memory like a sieve that isn't a great combination. I spent two days shadowing my colleagues and the first day I marvelled all day at the things I'd never think to inspect in a holiday let. The second day I was learning the way the cleaners actually clean, and I was continually wondering what to do next and then learning there was some tiny detail that gets done every single time... I felt a bit like I had no experience cleaning! haha.

I struggled not to just turn and stare out the windows, even though it was miserable weather. It really is the most extraordinary setting. Even in this cold weather, the flowers are blooming and the grass is green, the stone walled terraces are just lovely and everything is so well-tended. The trees are starting to turn and the coloured leaves are beginning to fall.

Speaking of views, I've been to see a bedsit and told them I would like to take it. It's even smaller than my current flat and I'll need to put some furniture into storage. But it's clean, quiet, incredible value, in a beautiful listed mansion, with a glorious garden, and more of those views to die for. I'm overlooking a lovely old church steeple and lots more gardens, with bird feeders, park benches and ornaments, among other things. I collect the keys this week.

Spent: £2.56 on a double cheeseburger and a coke... which I miraculously managed to get down, although it took me most of my one hour drive home to manage it.

Feeling a bit more positive this week. Mostly 6/10 and up. Unfortunately, someone has gotten too close to the side of my car and taken off the wing mirror and smashed the bracket. The sight of it just trashed my good mood. Heartbroken. What sort of person would do that and not leave a note?

Semi Zen

So I've been to meditation class again and this time the teacher quite lost me in the middle. I still feel more relaxed after the two guided meditations she did, but the teaching in between went on a fair bit about states of the mind and Buddhist teachings, which for someone unfamiliar, was a bit tough to grasp.

It's made me want to learn more about just meditation. I want a more pure relaxation mindset. I identify really strongly with the concept that our suffering is from within and from our reactions to the external - and that if we can learn to let go of stressful thoughts we will feel better within ourselves. I want that. And given how much better I feel even just relaxing for an hour and trying not to think about stressful things, I would like to find another group to share that with once I move towns. My current group has a different teacher next week so I'll still go again.

I have contacted a few people about rooms to rent. I don't really want to deal with all the utilities and costs involved with taking on a flat of my own. I think I'll need to put my own furniture into storage as the rooms to let all seem to be furnished. We'll see.

Swings and Roundabouts

I coffee'd my laptop this week, quite possibly the most devastating thing that could happen to me, not even joking. That 24 hours of not knowing if it would ever turn on again was really sad, and the relief as I reassembled all the internal screws and the thing turned on... I suspect people will laugh, but really, one person had the right reaction to express, "My whole life is in my computer" and I've never related to something so much.

Thekeyboard is acting up of coursewith some very stickykeys, especially the space bar,which is annoying, but notnearly as annoying as losing your entiresocial life.

I went looking on Bookface and discovered an entire group just for people wanting friends in my soon-to-be town. They invite randoms out for a drink or go on walks without hidden agendas. It sounds nice. I love being outdoors, but my own company gets pretty boring.

I'm struggling to get motivated to do the adulting things that need action, like finding a place to move to. Old Workmates have agreed we should catch up socially, which would be lovely. I do hope they follow through. I have a bad habit of believing people are my friends and not getting the hints that they aren't, and they don't want to actually be around me :(

Spent: £8.00 on a screwdriver set small enough to disassemble laptop.
Also, 23p on 8 bananas which I will never eat in time, but I had to buy all 8 to get the special price... ugh ASDA why do you force single people to waste food?

Looking forward to meditation group again. It really improved my mood last time.

Leaden Feet

Current work is sort of dragging because I just want it over. Customers are being really lovely and buying me drinks ♥ one tried to take me on a date and one has tried to buy me thigh-high red leather boots several times, very kind but no thanks to that one! The two people I do like the look of don't even look in my direction, of course. One of the two was writing a note for my coworker today on the bar, and Boots Man started joking that I was too slow to serve people, so I said he needed to wait because I was busy getting Note Man's phone number. Note Man just laughed and said "Thanks, sweetie..." yeah I just got friend zoned big time there buahaha.

Big Boss asked why I was going and why others have left too. People want more stable hours, but we also had no actual manager, leading to people bullying other staff, intimidating younger employees, not pulling their weight, being unsuited to their jobs, irritating customers etc etc. The Big Boss has asked me to put it all into writing. I'm also going to teach New Kid a bit of office politics.

Food today was one piece of toast, a pear, and a (free) chicken salad which I couldn't really eat. I'm struggling to eat anything at all lately and I have to force food down. I know it's the reason the weight is dropping so fast, at first it was that I was ill on top of being incredibly unhappy, but now even when my mood improves, it's tough to get out of starvation mode. I don't even feel shaky, which is odd considering I have such an active job. This accidental crash diet is very effective, so I'm not complaining. I'm loading up on vitamins.

I GOT IT!

SUPER stoked. I didn't get the first job I was after, but went for another one and got that. I nailed the interview. I knew within a few minutes, as the manager started using phrases like, "I will show you how" and "You can learn that first" and "You will be great" (rather than would/could/should, which you use for someone you're undecided on). She seems really down to earth, seems to think the same way I do, and even said that she wants someone who'll show the kind of attention to detail like making sure cushions on the sofa are perfectly lined up :D

I will be a Team Leader, essentially I do checks of vacated apartments, tell the housekeepers what I want done, train them, check their work etc. This is a huge boutique apartment block with amazing views, in glorious parklands, it's really rather swanky with plenty of money being spent on the building (why are they employing a commoner like me buahahaha). I was telling some of the customers at work that I was going to a snobby hotel in another town and one of them described the building - so apparently it's fairly well known. Swimming pool, gym... and garden views to die for. I can't wait.

Spent: £7.50 on new jeans, on sale. In a size 12. I haven't fit into a size 12 in a long, long time. I am so pleased!

Meditation and more

Meditation group was great! I don't quite know what I expected but it wasn't a beardy-weirdy hippie spiritual ommmm thing. I wasn't very good at it, but that's ok, and I felt quite refreshed afterwards. I will be going back next week.

I have a job interview this week and I am quite excited. I think my chances will be slim, but it's worth a shot. Just a case of "wait and see". It's also in the area I eventually want to buy, so it would help me kill two birds with one stone.

I have now lost 15kg and have 10kg to go. Mixed feelings here, and as I was saying to a fitness freak colleague, what happens if I get to my goal and I'm not satisfied with my body? Does it then become a source of unhappiness and obsession? He was pretty philosophical about it though, saying that even if that happens I will be physically healthier. He also had some tips for exercises, which I didn't promise to do, but I said I'd think about it. I'm being quite strict about having only two meals a day and I know that's not great for my ongoing mood. I think I just cling to the fact that soon I will find a better job and be a bit less gloomy.

Just as a note of interest, here on the right is what came in the mail to me from a personal loan company that I had enquired with some time ago. 535.3% interest. And "subject to affordability" means "is able to afford to pay £500 per month - in interest charges ALONE." Not even joking. How this is legal is beyond my comprehension. The only people who'd take this on either don't understand what they're being signed up to, haven't the mental capacity to be trusted with money, or are in such desperation that a payday loan won't fix things.

The company has kindly agreed to take me off their mailing list.

Better Luck Next Time

As expected I didn't get the job. Oh well. Have applied for a few others - hours at my work have dropped further and worse still, management have their financial year figures back and now constantly talk about cutting hours back even further. Customer service is starting to suffer - tips are falling and people are beginning to complain. Management are removing perks one by one in the name of austerity, and we're having to insist on getting our employee entitlements. Morale is on the floor and more than half the staff are looking for work elsewhere. My favourite co-worker leaves at the end of the week and I no longer dare to ask for free food. Nobody wants to be part of a sinking ship, I guess. What a change from a few months ago...

Have a monster cold right now to the point where I've come home from work early. When you can't concentrate and you're worried about making everyone ill, being around people is the wrong place to be. I wish the person I caught this from had thought the same.

Ahhh the Newton's Cradle. I swing from one extreme to the other, feeling relieved that I have the van money in the bank, then feeling annoyed that I can't do all the things I want, like paying people back and visiting Australia and replacing my car and also having a home loan deposit and legal fees. Which then leads me to indecision and it sits there. I already know I have to pay my parents back first, and if I'm honest with myself the frustration is in knowing that once I do that, I won't be willing to book a trip as it would wipe out the remainder.

Looking forward to going to a meditation group this week!

Rally Car Sounds

So I had a bit of a hiccup with my car, Pugsley, not long ago. On the way home I noticed he was a little louder than usual. By the next day he had a deep, rumbly, molasses growl. Honestly, it was beautiful, but it was so out of character for a Peugeot 107 that it was far too distracting just to enjoy it :D

Fortunately my lovely mechanic saw to him within a day, to a total cost of £160. Pugsley is now sporting a brand new muffler assembly. The best part was the mechanic remarking that it had sounded really great before he fixed it, just like a rally car - which made me laugh.

All things considered this is still an incredibly reliable car that's very cheap to run. It's eleven years old and it has come WAY under budget for expected repairs. It's also been very well looked-after. But I think I'm going to sell him after Christmas. He's done exactly as asked, but I'm now itchy for something with a little bit more power. Obviously I am looking at cars way over what I should be spending...

Received my cheque for the caravan. Feels a bit odd!

Work has cut hours and is constantly talking about cutting more - which I am seeing, as some staff get no shifts at all. I interviewed elsewhere for another position slightly above what I'm doing now. The interview most decidedly did not go well. It was even someone I knew and I still struggled to articulate the important points (and I spent far too long worrying about whether I was speaking too fast for her to take notes). Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Prolific

Another day, another cool property that I shouldn't be looking at. Same old!

I did some housekeeping today on my survey sites, updating my demographic info and checking my balances. I still have some more housekeeping to finish before I do a "master survey list" update so I won't give all the results to you just yet. But I will note that it's blindingly obvious which one is the best because it's way out in front of all the rest. I now earn something like £60 / month from this and I work full time outside the home - this site generally pays minimum wage, which is miles ahead of all its competitors, and you are never, ever screened out. It's Prolific Academic*. Unlike most survey sites you're not going to be asked about which brand of orange juice you bought this week or how you shop for table lamps. You're more likely to be asked about your experiences or feelings or reactions to social situations, these are scientific research surveys helping students to pass their degrees. Most of them are very quick and easy, too.

Mine didn't look this good.

If you do join up under me, leave me a message so I can give you a secret link on how to get more of the surveys. Since I found it I've had about 5x as many surveys. It's completely legit and honest, I just don't want to post it here for everyone to see, because the more surveys other people get, the less I get! :D

Lunch: nachos from work (free).
Currently enjoying: pink gin with frozen berries, soda and strawberry syrup

* referral link, I get some kind of bonus if you join, however I will never recommend something I personally don't believe in!

Irritated.

I had a day off yesterday and spent most of it reading money forums. Today was payday and I transferred the whole lot into Alright Savings account (as I have to meet minimum deposit amounts each month) then as I went to move most of it to the Good Savings account, bam. Account locked.

Long story short three phone calls and three hours to get that account unlocked... apparently it looked like money laundering due to the fact it is a brand new bank account. Slightly terrifying I must admit, will I actually trust Alright bank again with my money just in case they decide it is not mine next time, and won't give it back?! And the reason I had to move the money twice was their own stupid rule about minimum deposits!

For those of you who know, Alright bank was that bank whose internet banking went completely and utterly tits up not so long ago. It still basically sucks, as does their entire system. Calling them Alright bank is probably being generous, they're pretty rubbish and I only stay with them because (1) this savings account pays interest, and (2) my oldest bank account is with them and I need to improve the average age of my bank accounts...

Oh well. At least it was a good amount that I got in my paypacket!

Ah-ha Moments

I went to view two properties recently. It was a worthwhile experience even though both were overpriced and unsuitable layouts. The agent had a few pearls of wisdom which I hadn't expected at all. Another buyer mentioned getting a mortgage before going to auction and she told him why it won't work - if you're using that property as security, a bank will only loan after doing their own valuation, which generally takes weeks IF they will even agree to process one on an auction property. And even if you manage to arrange it very quickly and get the mortgage approved before the auction, it might be a waste of time and money if the auctioneer doesn't accept your offer price, and still wants it to go to auction. That would be a very expensive several-thousand-pound waste. The other buyer was gobsmacked. I just filed that away as "very useful to know", otherwise known as "I see now that you can't buy at auction unless you have another property or you have expensive bridging finance already" or, "so that's why everyone at the auction had grey hair, they all own properties already".

Interestingly, I got a concrete "reason" from one of the banks on why even the smallest of personal loans was declined. It seems I have access to too much unsecured credit comparative to my income (regardless of the fact it's basically unused). This was a huge surprise I must admit, because the credit rating companies all tell you that a larger limit makes you look more trustworthy, so accordingly, I had accepted every limit increase I was offered. But oh well, another "useful to know" tidbit. When I'm ready to look at a mortgage I'll close all the cards bar a single one with a £100 limit, or something.

Another Day

In a much better frame of mind today :)

I paid out my personal loan! Goneski! Goodbye 20% interest rate! In two years instead of four. And a pox on the bank that thought that percentage was ok.

I have also sold my caravan :) The funds should be with me in the next week or so. Such a relief. It also helps that I really, really like the people who bought it. The park office held us up for an hour and a half during the sale and we just chatted the whole time, about money, about banks, and about cars. In another world, we would have been friends. I also learned why cam belts go and how I can try to avoid that with Pugsley (it's a common repair on 100k mile vehicles)... invaluable advice which is definitely not difficult to follow.

Bit Down

As the title says I am a little bit down in the dumps, I think because I've done so much money planning and money dreaming and property hoping, but most of the actual "doing" can't happen yet.

I had a look at my credit score on Equifax and it has gone up... what? I mean, I know why, my address has finally updated for two of my accounts (unlike on stupid Experian). I'm just surprised that it's risen despite the applications I've put in lately.

I also found an incorrect address in there on both places, listing me as flat 2 instead of flat 5 from when I lived in Exeter. This might explain some knock-backs for personal loans back when I was trying to buy my car, grrrr. I've put disputes in to both Equifax and Experian.

As for balance transfers in general, I am struggling to find any bills to pay off... having spare money in my hands is not entirely a bad thing, but hey ho.

Going to a property viewing soon for a 2br flat. I won't be in the market to really buy anything for another six months, but even so, I'm interested to see what my money will buy one day.

Currently eating: leftover sandwiches (free).

Things Wot I Done Did

I found a savings account that pays 5% for the first year. Needless to say I'll be using this one first and the other one second! It means that it's worthwhile for me to withdraw "credit card money" for free and then earn 5% on that money. It's not a king's ransom but it's something. For free.

It also means that when the 5% deal ends, I will have a spare bank account that can be used for switching deals. At the moment there are deals to be had if you are willing to use the Switching Service, mostly cash bonuses. I don't want to use the SS right now as I would lose my one and only current account, and it's my oldest account - older accounts help your credit score. But I won't mind doing a switch from a newer account that I haven't had very long.

In other news, the little cottage I first fell in love with has sold (one bedroom, £99,500). But there is one in the same street and same size overall which is two bedrooms, has mould on the tops of the walls (roof issues?) and could be made almost as lovely, and was first listed at the same price. It's been reduced twice, first to 90,000 and now to 80,000. Seems as if the buyer is desperate to shift it. The rooms are absolutely tiny and that plus the fear of roof repairs will be putting people off. I am only 60,000 short to buy it buahahaha... sigh. I know it will never be mine, and I'll never see one like this again. But it is still nice to dream :)