Theory For Today

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. I didn't do so well and ended up cancelling plans, to spend time with my duvet instead. The thing about being ill is that when self-care takes up your entire day, you don't have much time to dwell on feeling lonely!

I have been pondering a theory, of late. It occurred to me today that doctors and scientists have produced something of a miracle by making several Covid vaccines happen in less than a year. It's amazing what you can do when the world faces abject misery and people are motivated for change.

So my idea is this. All surgeons should be immediately given the procedure they did to me.

They will then go through this agony and this will motivate them. Within a year they will have found an alternative which does not turn patients into toddlers struggling to potty train themselves. The discovery will be miraculous.

What an invention.

I have told work I need at least another week off. While the pain has settled back into 7/10 territory, and is not constant (right now I am only at 2/10), the problem is that I simply can't adult effectively. I can't timekeep - I need to visit the supermarket before it shuts and I was so relieved to see that I had four hours to manage this. I cannot predict how my innards will behave. I will be thinking I'm fine and then am ravaged by inner murder with only seconds to get myself to a loo. And then I'll curse my guts for 30, 45 minutes, maybe longer, and feel like my life is spent staring at tile walls.

It seems so juvenile to be missing work because I might have to spend an hour on the porcelain throne. Or not actually make it in time. But here we are.

I have also pondered more than once whether humans really need to eat (surely not). However, in view of the fact I didn't really eat much yesterday, I ended up making a concoction of broccoli and half a tin of stewed steak. I managed to make it to the local shop to get coins for my electric meter. I also had a bath, which was wonderful, and felt like my day ended on a better note than it began.

Time to snuggle up warm in bed while the storm howls outside, and to enjoy some quality Netflix entertainment in the form of Bridgerton.

My 12pm Breakfast

I have pushed back my work return until Boxing Day. I felt rather sorry for myself yesterday and wasn't in a mood to do anything. At some point in the early evening I realised I'd only had one glass of liquid all day - which is a stupid idea for someone in my situation - but it sums up just how fed up I am of having to look after myself.

So here I am, 12pm, been up for a few hours, and I'm now forcing myself to have breakfast. It consists of a cup of white tea & pomegranate (SOOOO nice, massive thanks to my neighbour for leaving this behind when she moved out). And three slices of dried apple and four sugar-free gummy bears, both of which are medicinal, because although they aren't unpleasant, I would not have bothered eating at all if I had a choice in the matter.

I'm now thinking of the donut in my fridge which must be eaten today and which isn't a smart food choice but will taste good even while there are far more intelligent things to eat and that's IF I were even interested in food... which I am not. Please say a prayer to the dog of appetites that I feel like bothering with this later on.

Terrified of having to leave the house today for necessities, and terrified of going out tomorrow, and terrified of going to work the day after. I'm still not ready to do any of these things. But I have to make myself do them.

Gold Star

This is actually me.

I did the thing. Actually, I did the things. I am still deathly afraid of being more than five metres away from home (well, the bathroom) and also deathly afraid of not having an hour to spare at thirty seconds' notice, and of abject misery for that entire hour. But I am healing, slowly but surely. And somehow today, I managed to get my car MOT'd, dropped a Secret Santa gift in at work, and even went shopping at the Big Supermarket and then walked on the high street.

One of my supervisors asked how I was, asked if I could manage stairs ok, then remarked that I looked terribly pale (the look on her face said that she expected me to collapse at her feet or perhaps roll head-first down the staircase). I will admit I felt quite light-headed and a bit loony. But I did it. 

I came home feeling like a Cheshire Cat, but with far less energy. I am half exhausted and half beaming with pride. I was a fair bit more alert after the walk through town. Being upright was good for me. Things are looking good for a return to work in three days.

I managed to write 17 Christmas cards today for my workmates. I also bought a couple of small gifts and some treats for myself - which in hindsight weren't necessary, because I opened my Christmas goody bag from work and it's full of yummy things.

Speaking of yummy things, I am not going nuts with Christmas food this year. The main reason is that I am presently barely eating, I've had a few "ready meals" of late and my habit is to save half for the next day. Otherwise I am just nibbling dried fruit or the odd cracker. I am trying to have a protein shake every day. But it's hard to find your appetite when eating results in mega pain. Still, this shall pass.

Yellow stickers: bag of chopped onion 9p (into the freezer!), two bunches of broccoli for 20p, 30 Christmas cards for 50p, sweet & sour chicken dinner £1.71.

Necessary stuff: small card game for a friend, Secret Santa gift, chocolate cake for Christmas Day (spending the afternoon with work bestie), a kilo of sugar-free gummy bears (they're a laxative!), my MOT (£35). Praise be to the MOT god who found nothing wrong.

Spendy McSpenderson: Christmas socks, beanie, jumper and snood (£11 all up!), and chocolate coins which should probably count as a Christmas necessity.

Floored

Me, that is, and my digestive system, that is. I went in for my surgery, and I had been a bit worried that it might be more gruelling than expected. Keep in mind that the only real thing my surgeon had said was that I'd go home on the day of the operation and that I'd have to avoid any heavy lifting for two weeks.

Well, I am now three days post-op and have only just gotten home today. And oh boy did I get sliced apart. I've been told to take two weeks off work minimum, that I will take six weeks to recover fully, and even if I were ready before the two weeks are up, there was a Covid outbreak in my ward, in a nearby section, meaning I have to stay home and self-isolate for another seven days anyway.

Annoyed isn't the word. Agony comes close. It comes and goes, since right now I am sitting still and have zero pain but when I move I hit a five, and every now and then it shoots up to eleven. I've got the heavy-duty pain relief, but I don't want to spend 24 hours a day sozzled for the odd times now and then when the pain skyrockets.

I had no choice but to go shopping for easy and suitable food. This sucks when your freezer is full, but I just can't be sure I will be able to cook, and I was missing far too many appropriate items. So far I've forced down half a scotch egg and half a pasty with a bit of cheese. I also ate a strawberry donut before it went past date. Every single thing I eat requires water and dried fruit as an accompaniment, since my poor innards are living a horror movie. I am dosed to the hilt with anti-inflammatories and stuff to make me... go... which isn't, so far, very successful.

My lovely boss and supervisors have leapt to my rescue. I feel terrible for the complete lack of warning they've had since we all expected me back today and I'm in no fit state! Supe #1 has been terrific and so incredibly kind, offering to shop for me, ordering me to look after myself and promising me that I needn't worry about work. I will be on a staged return, they will ensure I go on light duties once I am well enough and have told me to take my time. That's a relief.

Sadly my bank balance is going to suffer and I will lose a good £600 of earnings for the privilege of hugging my stomach and rocking back and forth in pain. I haven't done a survey more than 10 minutes long in months - but it seems I shall have to lose my pickiness and take them all from here on. UC will probably kick in a couple of hundred pounds at least.

Flat sale remains at a standstill... solicitor needs to be nagged to keep me in the loop and nobody seems to be addressing my biggest concern.

Covid Swabs: Not Recommended

But hey, it certainly wasn't as bad as I had expected. I needed this done so I can go in for my operation. The nurses were lovely, I went to a drive in centre, it was all over in five minutes. Unfortunately while swabbing my throat I gagged and basically coughed straight at her, mortifying, and even though I don't think I put her at risk, not that nice for the poor lady. The nose part was actually really easy and not nearly as uncomfortable as expected.

All going well I will hear nothing, and go in for my surgery on two days' time. I'm a bit apprehensive in case it is more physically demanding than I expected. I've kinda realised too late that I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting for two weeks... a bit late to be telling the boss hey? They'll get a nice surprise next week when I simply apologise but someone else will need to unload the lorry. We are equal and yet somehow it is just expected that it's ME who does the heavy unloading. Well, they'll just have to pull their weight for two weeks.

Be Me

> be me

> go to the shop for milk

> Not Walking™; drive half-way around the world to get to nearest shop with easy parking

> remember my vouchers

> pick up voucher items (cocktail sausages, banana, pork pies)

> also collect six more types of snack food and two ready meals and two types of juice

> get to till; be determined to create at least five seperate receipts (because receipts are worth money)

> carefully scan everything in groups, thinking how smart I am

> scan two vouchers then realise I forgot to use the sausages voucher and now it's too late

> get home

> omg I forgot the milk

> go to other supermarket because: shame...

And I was so annoyed about that voucher that I bought more sausages. Oh well, at least I have six receipts...

Back to work tomorrow so it seems as though I should hunt out my Christmas jumpers!

Question Everything

The papers are still filled with stories of people who are doing it really tough, and how wages are too low and the standard of living is poor and yarda, but it strikes me: not enough attention is focussed on how these imbalances came to be. We are so quick to blame a lack of public spending, or an uncaring government, or, I don't know, our vast national debt. I don't like to be that person who points at the human in question to apportion blame. So instead, I am going to ask, not for the first time, why are we not taught money management in school?

I might be lacking in compassion today, but I am getting tired of seeing middle-income people who can't manage to make income cover expenses. Not because I don't empathise (right now, sooo many people are finding their income cut without warning). But because I can see that they built up their lifestyle and their spending level, and there was nothing in the tank to spare. The aspirationals are "locked" into their pay tv packages and mobile phone contracts and paying off clothing and the car finance. And and and. All things that they would argue are normal. And yet they chose to get into all these financial agreements, one contract at a time, spending right up to the hilt of their finances. Which is just fine until paying it off becomes a problem, after which they moan that wages are too low to cover bills these days. It's somehow the wages' fault that humans spent the money.

People are very fast to bite when told that our grandparents "went without" in order to achieve what they wanted. They point out, rightly, that back in nineteen yickety-two people could buy a house for the cost of their annual income and in 2020 you need about ten times as much. Yes, yes; we can all do basic mathematics and see that housing is far less affordable. Big deal. They've all missed the point. You're supposed to spend according to what you earn, not select the appropriate "normal" lifestyle and spend away and then howl that nothing is left over.

This means - the horror - that if your income can only cover freeview tv and a Netflix subscription, then don't sign up for the awesome sports package so that you can watch Scunthorpe United in your living room. And if you do the maths and see that you'll have £50 left each week even if you do sign up, then you should still stop right there and leave it alone. £50 is not a comfy safety net. £50 would not cover your bills for a month if your job went sideways.

Got earnings, got aspirations? Then put away 25%. If you can't do 25, then figure out a way to cut something out of the spending. If you think you can't, then think laterally. Think harder. Think differently. Change something. Trim something. Forgo something. There's a virus out there and nothing is certain. Caution is the buzzword. You are less helpless than you think.

Question everything.

November Stuffs

PA £10.35

Shoppix £5.00

Kiva £7.92 (this is actually a repayment, not an earning - I used to lend with Kiva a LOT but over the past couple of years, I am often losing my money so I'm just waiting for the last few loans to come back to me and then getting out)

Ahaa... it wasn't "nothing" after all. It's low overall though, because I've been burnt out and didn't do many surveys and didn't snap many receipts. I still gather them like a good little monkey, but then they... expire 😔 I've even been slack about collecting my free login points for raffle sites. The horror.

Currently sneezing and contemplating what to do with my next few days off work. Aside from doing some surveys and snapping some receipts, of course. Oh and digging into my shift leader training for work.

Maybe I can rouse myself to write an actual article?

Boring Person

...me, that is. I keep mentally yelling at survey invites to just go away. Consequently I've done almost none this month, keep your eyes peeled for a big fat zero come the first of December.

Four more days of work and I get a week off. I am then back for a week and then off again for long-awaited surgery (you don't want details trust me, suffice to say it's minor).

I am getting disillusioned at the flat. Still waiting for replies from the bank. The silly thing is that as it stands, I know that I won't start paying for the roof until 2022 at the earliest, and I know it'd be something I can afford at the time, but without the documentation on what it's costing and a time frame, this looming issue will cause all kinds of hell if/when I want to sell this place. I would actually be on track to pay the CC and roof off in about two years - assuming I keep working 30+ hours - so with new carpets and decorating, I might actually want to sell it in 2022-2023 and would be annoyed if I can't ask a decent amount because of a still-looming, much-delayed roof repair. The disillusionment is because this flat is 40k and there is nothing on the market under 65k right now... yes I said nothing... I would be a nutcase to not stick this out.

Sampled today: Sausage Roll crisps. Edible, taste like pastry, but not worth paying for.

Freebies: jaffa cakes, chocolate orange, more of the standard stuffs like fruit and salads.

Flat Update

So it has finally arrived, that is, the solicitor's report on what's happening so far. Lots of documents hit me at once. The flat is evidently a mortgagee-in-possession sale and there is a paper trail indicating the flat was empty for a year. The previous owner was an 81-year-old widow and I would think she is either deceased or has moved into care. But the fact that I'm now dealing with a bank as the seller makes life a complete headache. Most of the solicitor's enquiries are met with answers of "we don't know" from the building manager or "please ask the freeholder" (which is a bank - which likewise will not know the answer as they never lived there).

The managing agent has not even done more than hint about the roof repair. They formally informed all residents of their intent to get quotes on the roof back in April - I already know they got quotes before this! - and despite stating to residents that a month later they'd announce the successful tender, that doesn't seem to have happened, nor are there any actual amounts stated nor any attempt to start the work. They vaguely said that residents would pay an extra £500 in fees next year, which clearly doesn't add up to a £60,000 roof repair. I've asked my solicitor to chase it but what a pain in the backside to have to ask for paperwork when they obviously know it's of interest to a buyer and they have no reason to withhold it...

Eh. I miscounted my days of work in a row. It was 16. Wiped out. I already know that this one day off will not be enough. But hey, what else would I be doing with my days apart from maybe lie about in a hot bath, do my laundry, or you know, wash my dishes? I really need to see the bottom of my sink again and eat something other than free sandwiches and meat pies.

Delays

So my solicitor (in her cone of silence) has never kept me abreast of what's happening. I had expected to exchange this week, and when I asked about an exchange date, only then does she decide to tell me that she has had to order searches from scratch as neither purchaser ever did them. This means we're looking at an extra two to three weeks.

Thanks for letting me know. Meh.

I am working 13 days straight because I am incapable of saying no. Last night I unexpectedly got an email that we're getting a 10% bonus again over Christmas; this is welcome news, but I'm going to feel like I earned it! The humans just Do.Not.Stop and anyone would think they consider it necessary to shop and inhale more food just because we're locked down. Not to mention the idiots who think it's funny to steal and to hurl empty bottles at the shop window.

On the plus side, I have a pie for dinner and haven't bought any Coke since the 3 cases ran out.

I have learned that new carpet for my new flat will cost me about £440, which is good news. I will need about £1000 for new heating, if the one in there isn't useful - the EPC indicates no heating, but there's some kind of heater clearly visible in the pictures, which tells me that the assessor probably never even visited the flat... no wonder the EPC is so terrible, maybe there is hope yet that I might get it up into the E range after all.

Current Level Of Tired:

I just installed the Blogger app in order to stay lying down rather than sit at my pc.

Yesterday was the last day before lockdown and I managed to get a long-overdue cut. The lady declared she couldn't do any shaving. She eventually agreed to try, and did a gorgeous short chopped undercut pixie for me. I am loving it. Her first ever and it's perfect 👌.

No news on an exchange date for my flat. Searches are all done... I think. I guess I just wait to hear what's next?

Work is now sort of odd now that we are back in lockdown. It's definitely less busy than last week, just the constant trickle of customers with their baskets full of "one, just in case". Big stores have had shelves stripped of toilet paper and pasta... again... but we are doing just fine. Boris reckons it is only for a month. I suspect it will be more like another six.

October Earnings

£10 SnapMyEats (I forgot to redeem this in September... see, I told you there was one)

PA £5.48

Storewards £2.00

Because I missed so much work due to that lurgy, I've been saying yes to all the overtime I can get. Yesterday I worked 8am until 11.15pm. This morning, I got up after 7 hours of sleep, ate breakfast and then thought I'd have a nap. I woke up six hours later!!! Obviously a bit of a waste of my one day off, but it seems like I needed the sleep. 

We are going back into lockdown. I already have more OT lined up and who knows what happens next... the store started getting busy even when the lockdown was just a rumour.

My main idiotic bank has locked one card and still can't get itself together to send out the other one. #standard really!

Verdict

I am here today to tell you all about the alternatives to having fresh milk in your coffee. I have researched these so that you don't have to. You're welcome.

UHT long-life milk: acceptable in coffee, tastes a bit odd, but acceptable

Powdered milk: if we are talking about skim powdered milk used in double strength, this is even better than UHT. Whole powdered milk tastes funny due to the cream

Coconut milk: acceptable (requires a LOT of milk to reach acceptable standard)

Almond milk: completely unacceptable

Don't get me wrong, almond milk is quite drinkable on its own and tastes fine. But in coffee, it leaves it looking mostly black even when half the cup is milk, and it then tastes like bitter black coffee with weirdness in it. I'm not even a crazy fan of coconut flavour but coconut milk, somehow, is nice.

In other news, despite having a week off work, almost no surveys have appeared on Prolific Academic, it is very, very slow. I'd love to say students are on holidays but I think realistically it's just become too popular with people wanting to do surveys.

New app on my phone named Streetbees. No idea if it's any good but if it turns out useful I will review it!

Counting down to home ownership. Thirty days to go. Maybe. I hope.

Today I Did A Thing

As I've just joined two new cash-for-receipts programmes (ZipZero and Storewards) I have updated my cool page-thingy with info on how to make money from your receipts. Clicky here to get all the info.

Does this mean I will faithfully upload all my receipts everywhere, on time? Oh dear reader of course not, I am still the same old lazy bum who procrastinates endlessly. I did manage to do my laundry on my day off, and wash up, and eat lunch rather than just binge on crisps. Small things, right?

Took my vitamins today ✓ look at me adulting like a boss!

Still on my list of stuff to do is endless shift leader training. I'm slightly irritated that I'm not being paid for this. I should be, but I realise it's something not worth rocking the boat over.

I had a £5 voucher from LIDL which has now expired... I would have to have spent £25 to get it and there was simply not £25 worth of groceries that I need. I have a full freezer and a full fridge, plus cleaning products, toiletries, washing detergent and softener coming out my ears. #firstworldproblems indeed. Oh well, I probably would have come home with novelty socks, an angle grinder and a set of maracas.

Same problem, different flavour: my new bank account which requires 30 transactions per month to net me a £5 bonus. I don't go shopping 30 times a month and can't figure out what to buy.

These are the first world problems of a non-spender!

Mood: artificial orange flavour.

Disgusting Snot Face

Predictably, not long after my blood sugar crash thing, I started feeling that my nose wasn't right, and today I am in full-blown headcold mode. I've had to undo my overtime for today and I have already called in sick for tomorrow as well. I don't think this is coronavirus (no cough apart from when I inhale my green snot) so I am not worried, just thoroughly unimpressed at my stuffed up nose and losing days of work.

It's a little bit disturbing, because I have definitely picked this up from my work colleagues - despite being careful, we have all done enough to have caught and spread a virus among ourselves and this time we are just lucky that it's only a cold.

I have been bored enough to empty and defrost my freezer. Due to me shoving it brim-full one evening, a tiny pocket of air was getting in, which started an escalating cycle of icing up around the door, making it harder and harder to close and letting in more air and ice. Iced up freezers run far less efficiently and cost money. Also, I'm astounded at what was actually in this tiny freezer, none of which I paid a penny for:

• 3 rump steaks, 2 gammon steaks, 2 chicken breasts
• 2 pizzas
• 2 trays of chicken mini roasts with sausages and stuffing balls
• pack of fish goujons
• 7 packs of butter and a half-pack of buttersoft
• 2 packs of goat's cheese
• 24 chipolata sausages
• 2 packs chicken goujons (one is hot & spicy)
• cooked sliced chicken breast
• pack of bacon
• chopped onions, spinach, green beans
• hash browns

I mean, that is an insane amount of frozen food and this could be at least 30 dinners. Half of it was too difficult to reach easily so here was me thinking I only had half a dozen dinner options! Not to mention there's an ice box compartment above my fridge which is brim-full of more vegetables.

I'm going to cook one pizza today as they've been on the "too hard" list for ages (needing to cut them up to fit them in my oven) and it's really not a great idea to keep food forever instead of using it up. Plus, it's really nice to feel organised, and the amount of space that just one pizza has freed up has taught me a valuable lesson... I need to stop hoarding pizzas 😁

Postscript: I put my symptoms into the Covid-19 tracker, including the cough, even though I don't really think it counts as a cough. Fifteen pages of questions, email verification, far too much in the way of collecting private data (I think the average user would fail to even get through it all) concluding with a message that they'll credit check me with TransUnion to confirm my identity.

Fuck right off. You'll do no such thing. I have zero interest in my current temporary address going onto my credit history.

This means I can't have a home postal test, there are no local test centre appointments and the nearest drive-in centre is more than two hours' drive. I was told to isolate for ten days and this would mean no income for ten days.

End result is I uninstalled the app, no Covid-19 test for me and I'm going back to work as soon as I stop sniffling. What a complete and utter bullshit farce. No wonder it's spreading across the country.

Delicious Snack Boxes

...are no longer delicious. I'm over them completely. But for half marks I am attempting to keep at them with different contents. I am currently drinking day-over milk in my coffee and when it dies an undrinkable death, it will be "switch to UHT milk" time to use up what's in the cupboard. I am grateful for all the free cashews I have in the snack stash because they make snack boxes endurable.

Work Bestie, answering the phone to Sister Store, told them I don't want their overtime because I'm already working at Home Store today. I tried not to show irritation. I went straight over to sister store when I finished work, apologised for the "misunderstanding", and ended up working until close. It was even with my favourite crew whom I adore working with. I see bestie's point, he thought I was exhausted and knew we struggle to fill shifts because people are busy elsewhere, but I can't be saying no to the extra hours right now with these kinds of bills. I will have very little left each month after my repayments and that does not make for a cushy budget.

Neighbour From Hell was a triple team this weekend, it was his weekend with his bratling. Honestly a single room isn't meant to host three humans and I shouldn't have to listen to it through paper walls... this is my life. But I am counting down the days and this shall pass.

Weird: due to the whack timing of my payday, I got £96 for Universal Credit. I (again) don't think I'll get anything next month, but whether I do or not, it will probably be the last because (touch wood) I will then be able to tell them that I no longer have rent to pay. The loss of the rent component will take my allowance down so low that even my measly contracted work hours would reduce any UC payment to zero - for every pound earned you lose 63 pence of UC. I wonder how many MPs would be ok with an effective tax rate of 63% for working as a supermarket checkout operator? Seems equitable, doesn't it... tax the living fuck out of the absolute poorest of society. Punitive measures which work so well at enticing the unemployed to get out and find a job (sic).

Currently eating peri-peri chicken crisps for breakfast (free) with plans for mango and crumpets as snacks and crackers, salsa and chicken for dinner... possibly with green beans (all free). One perk of living alone is that if you want to eat weird dinners, you can!

Dinner for a day

Chicken with peri sauce, grape cherry tomatoes, brussels sprouts ♥

I am wiped out. I decided to take a nap on my day off and the sun crept into my window, overheated me, and I awoke with my blood sugar on the floor and sweating my brain out. I still feel revolting four hours later, but at least I'm not shaking like a leaf anymore and at least it's my day off.

I am watching old episodes of Property Ladder and I just saw Sarah Beeny saying that paying a 10% home deposit with a credit card is madness... I have to wonder what she would think of someone like me whose property effectively has a CC deposit and the "mortgage" is a mixture of savings and an 11% p.a. personal loan 😂

Still, it is a calculated risk and unlike the developers that she works with, I am not (currently) planning a large renovation, nor relying on either rental income or a resale profit.

I forgot how much I love this show ♥

Wartime Preparations

In view of the fact that my debt repayments are about to go through the roof, think it's high time that I took my food spending seriously. I have an enormous perk with my job and that's of free food. I can easily get hold of all the bread, fruit, vegetables and snack foods that I need, and as long as I'm careful to strike while the iron is hot, I can also get enough free protein, which comes in a "feast or famine" pattern (for example, I might get three rump steaks and two boxes of chicken on one day and then there's nothing for another five days).

So why on earth does a card-carrying frugalist do things like buy a meal deal for her lunch at work? It's quite frankly disgusting. (Not the meal, because to be honest the mango smoothie is amazing, but you get my drift.) Every man and his dog knows you can eat cheaper than that, and when the cheaper would be "free" I am just throwing money away.

Self-brownie points.

Anyway. I have just assembled five lunchy-snack-boxes for this week. Each of them has a small carb snack, nuts, some dried fruit, and a couple of little chockies. On my ten-hour shift days they also have a Belvita soft bake, which are awesome and which were also free. My workplace always has free bread and fruit, so there's really no need for anything else. Plus I can certainly do without bacon sarnies and wraps dripping with mayo.

I have also resolved to do better with breakfast. There's plenty of cereal here and even some "on the go" porridge bars. They're almost as awful as the Soreen bars in my snack boxes, but they fill the stomach.

I am much more confident that I'll eat the snack boxes than whether I'll actually stick to a breakfast routine... we shall see.

Behaving: I have run out of coke and not bought any more. I'm waiting until pay day but let's see whether I can wait longer.

Accepted!

Cautiously excited! Also scared. Also internally singing. They have to announce my successful offer by public notice and allow five days for anyone wanting to gazump me. So I'm going to sweat for five days, at which point I will relax back a bit into mere stress. 

Then I'll be on don't-spend alert.

I've just eaten a free chicken pasta (it's not very nice but it was free) with some free salad and I'm drinking free coffee and contemplating some free fruit. I had cereal for breakfast then stuck to my freebie snack box today, felt starving and ate a free donut. I told a friend this evening that I might spend all my leftover cash on a can of coke for Christmas!

I Made An Offer

of £40K. The agent got "some" figures from the management company - I'm not really sure which one is the slower communicator here - indicating that I'd be up for about £4-5k in a cash call. So I made my offer. There is another offer on the table from yesterday, which I'm told is slightly higher, but they are in a chain. The agent says that makes me the (perhaps) better offer.

I now have to show him proof of funds, so I've spent the afternoon moving money about and thanks to stupid Covid the banks were closed early, so I'm off to deposit a cheque tomorrow and do a bit more cash money moving.

I should hear back from the agent by Friday or Monday on whether my offer has been accepted, touch wood. Even if it's a yes, there's a big danger of gazumping here if a chain-free moneybags turns up, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it (read:cry).

My current landlord told me they were coming today to bleed the radiator. She didn't show up. She's a nice enough person but if I manage to buy that flat, I'm going to conveniently not tell her I've bought a place of my own. I'm just going to indicate that I'm moving (with plenty of notice) and that living next to Hell Woman was hell. I feel sorry for the lady in flat 6 and whoever next rents my place and I feel like they deserve a bit of peace!

Upcoming: truly spending nothing. I am initiating myself tonight by eating a pie from the freezer with a salad which is two days past date. I've already had a croissant and grapes this morning, and a chicken wrap for lunch. Total spend: nothing. I have a full freezer, a full cupboard, and long-life milk. I can behave. It's almost a proper challenge.

Scared. Excited. Impatient. Hopeful.

Coronavirus Revisited

So it never really went away, but I suppose we have been lulled into a false sense of security. We finally have the Covid-19 app. It eats your battery non-stop. I've had it installed for a week and it lit up for the first time last night, advising that I'd been in contact with someone who has tested positive.

That's it. No advice on what I should do, no indication where this was, when it was, or who it was.

Ten minutes of googling indicates that it isn't even a genuine notification. Great. I have a useless battery-sucker on my phone. I can't wait for next time.

Something new and different: my arsehole neighbours are still arguing, screaming day and night, waking me up, and keeping me up, and they still reek of pot. Yay. Neighbour three-doors-away and I got chatting this afternoon and he's going to put in another complaint. You know it's bad when it annoys someone through three walls.

My Extra Cash For September

PA £14.86

I am sure I am missing one other payout and I can't remember what it was. But either way it's clear my motivation is lacking! I have hit 42 hours this week and I will admit to being exhausted. I still love my job but I'm frustrated with corporate types which have completely blocked my manager from employing extra staff when it is 100% clear they are needed - in theory, eight checkout operators is all we need, but in reality six of them are inflexible and refuse to work any overtime. End result is that only two of us will fill all the missing shifts and the problem is replicated in other stores, so they're all desperately trying to poach us for their own missing shifts.

Eh.

I have just spoken to the agent selling not-right ground-floor studio (45K asking price which SSTC for 54, then fell through, then SSTC for 45). It is back on the market for the third time, this flat has fallen through twice. He admitted that the roof problem, which I've known about for a year, is why the last SSTC fell through. When I first viewed the building a year ago (different flat) the leaking roof had ruined a newly-renovated top-floor flat and pulled down the ceiling in the flat below. Another resident in the building told us that the whole building is freezing cold in winter and the roof repair was going to be very expensive, with a cash call for every flat in the building.

The agent unfortunately has been given no cost figures by the property's management team and thus the last seller pulled out. He even let slip that they had offered 45K, learned of the roof problems then offered £40 and it had been rejected. These are useful figures for me to know.

It is in a truly lovely area and a short walk to the beach. On a regular sale taking around three months, I can meet the asking price, but I'd be inclined to offer the same 40K if I don't know the roof cost. He's going to keep me in the loop.

Free from sister store: five bunches of flowers (I already have a bunch here so I put them out for my neighbours).

Hmm Well

Manager FB-messaged me (yay official comms!) and surprise surprise another shift this week. I'm already on the equivalent of 34½ hours and the overtime-overtime will make this just under 40 - third week in a row. At least this week it's over five days instead of six. I have resolved to say no if anyone tries to touch my two days off this week. I like the overtime but I.Am.Tired.

She also says I should hear about getting shift-manager-trained in the next few weeks! Good news. The new shift leader, who got the position I wanted, has still not started and nobody knows when he's coming... including my boss. Hmm.

Absolutely zero properties on the market at 50k, still.

My credit score has been massacred from hard searches. Sigh. I've given up on this personal loans crap and gotten myself a new subprime credit card again, I'll just keep saying yes to increases.

Also applied for and got a new current account with my shitty, shitty main provider, whose shitty IT system is still shitty. It's paying a £5/month bonus if you pay for 30 things in a month, so look out self-checkout because I'll be buying a crapton of individual items to get my bonus. They have an incorrect address in the system that they've promised me has been removed four times, can't match me to my existing internet banking login and made a new one AGAIN (fml that's another phone call for me to hopefully find someone to merge them AGAIN) so now let's see if they can even manage to post out my card... I won't hold my breath, my credit card from them never arrived either... my loan application with them crashed by the way and they still hard searched me. I wonder whether it was even rejected 😂

I have installed the track and trace app for Covid-19. I fully expect to be told I've been near someone who had it. Occupational hazard of seeing 500-odd customers in a shift.

Grrr: the annoying next door neighbour has hung all her wet clothes on my airer while my stuff is in the washing machine. There's no way I'm speaking to her (I've made complaints - she isn't meant to be living there, she stinks and is noisy). So now I have to pile her stuff somewhere, take my airer to my room and seem like a jerk. Great.

I Can't Help It

 Since The Great Disappointment™ I have done the following thrifty things:

• cleared out my fridge
• toasted some muffins from the freezer
• tried the soft butter spread J bought; that's a no; saved it for cooking!
• taken a frozen block of (free) butter out of the freezer
• used up some old frozen vegies
• taken some frozen chicken out to cook tonight
• done two surveys on Prolific Academic
• snapped some receipts
• used shrapnel aka loose change to buy milk
• eaten cereal that I don't really like
• used some nutella that is "expired"

I have a glut of stored items where I've been less than discerning and simply taken food home that I never get around to using. I was forced into being slightly more choosy once I ran out of room, but I really should learn to eat what I already have, because it avoids me discarding food which won't fit.

I am still a bit gloomy. I don't think it's even just about the missed flat, I'm having a bit of a "what is my life?" thing. But hey, this will pass.

Sad Faces :(

So the apartment (predictably) went for £46,500, which is £4k more than I have. Sigh. Lots.

I had kind of decided to pay out my loan if I can't find anything by the end of the year and now I waver... it is hard to let go of the dream! Having a bit of a moment right now, feeling pretty stupid, like I shouldn't have dared to hope. There are absolutely no other properties on the market even at around £46,500.

.

Ok, I took myself off for a nap and am feeling slightly more human now. It's disappointing, mainly because I was looking forward to starting the countdown to moving! But the fact there's a tenant in there, well the flat really wasn't perfect. Must keep the faith. Must sit tight until I can arrange to pay 50k.

I finally had a sit-down-chat with manager. She says that I could easily do the job that I didn't get, the roadblock was that the training academy is closed due to Covid. She wants to send me to the academy once it's open again - I asked why since it would hasten me moving to another store (I can't see any other opportunities in my own store given that the other shift leaders are part of the furniture). She admitted that she knew it, but felt like she should develop me anyway. I am comforted by the fact that the shifty I work most with in sister store is also earmarked to go. It will be nice to know someone there.

My boss has also done something exemplary with my new shifts. I was disappointed when she'd told me that head office was stopping her changing my contract hours up much, but she has gone out of her way to arrange this for me as best she could. She has given me three more unofficially permanent shifts, meaning I have a steady 28 hours per week for at least the next few months. I definitely misjudged her. 😍

Spendy McSpenderson: definitely this personal loan that's sitting about and yet to be used on a property.

Wendy I Love You

Wendy at my union, whatever they're paying you, they should double it 😍

She found me a new conveyancer and even checked that he would be able to work at short notice and in a short time frame. I duly sent him an email asking what kind of info he would need and whether he could quote me - and it is going to be some £900 cheaper because this one doesn't charge a premium to work on an auction.

Phew.

Nervous now. Hurry up, time.

Watch battery replaced, all good, yay.

Annoyed Is Not The Word

A nice conveyancer, arranged by my union, quoted me for the apartment I want about a month ago. Including a £550 charge for dealing with an auction. Last week I accepted her quote and instructed them. A completely different solicitor from the same firm then began sending emails asking for info they already had - only to this afternoon announce that he won't be able to to work with me due to the timescales of auctions and that he "wanted to be up front" about it.

I am beyond disgusted, they knew it was an auction the whole time and are only now declining to work with me, with six days to go? I have obviously sent a very dirty email to my union suggesting they stop endorsing such an unprofessional company and asking if they can recommend anyone else... but gah, I'm completely screwed now (putting it politely). The union lady has called another firm who'll be in touch this afternoon and they're aware that I've been let down, so fingers crossed this one works out.

My nose is blocked up and it's very irritating... I am just coming off a minor cold (not corona not corona not corona) and my overuse of nasal sprays for the last few weeks has left me dependant on them so I block up within a few hours. I am trying not to spray on my days off but I just hate being a mouth-breather!!! I have no choice when I go to work because who needs mouth-breathing in a bloody mask?

My sweet little kettle brought over from Finland has finally bitten the dust 😢 Fortunately I have the one that I got off freecycle for J, and it takes up more room, but at this point I'm grateful to have a kettle.

Since it's the week of things falling apart, my watch has stopped dead. I hope it's just the battery and I've ordered a new one, which I'll change myself using the screwdriver kit I bought last year.

The seller messed me around with the lightsuit, wanting me to pay to airmail it back to China before they would refund me, funnily enough the moment I ignored that and hit "return requested" through eBay with a note that the seller had already agreed to a refund, they refunded me in full...

New neighbour man in J's old flat is apparently a double team, since she is always, always there and they wake me up at stupid o'clock with their arguing and screaming. They also like the green stuff. Living in this house has suddenly stopped being a shoebox inside an oasis. I know it's influencing my decision on the auction flat and now I just want to buy yesterday.

Free: two dozen red roses 😍

It's been a pretty depressing post here all round so I feel obligated to say: things will be ok. I don't live close to the bone, I can always deal with an unexpected cost in some way, there's always a solution to be had, the world hasn't ended. Life is good. x

August

PA £10.93

QMee £0.94

Testable Minds £9.02

Receipt Hog £5.00

Book Royalties £2.07

Not quite enough to retire on just yet!

A few days left until the auction and I think I will actually bid. I have completed my registration and am ready to go... so now of course I'm paranoid that there is some hidden cost I've forgotten about and that I won't have enough money.

Depressing x2

The flat that I want is now being sold with tenant in situ. I could buy it then attempt to remove her, but ugh. It's an annoyance and a risk in that she might not leave and that would leave me stuck with sky-high bills. I have eight days to decide what to do.

The job I applied for... I apparently can't have. Work bestie had a word to manager who has indicated that next time the company runs a shift leader training course she'll consider putting me forward... in other words I'm not getting the job I want, evidently because you can only be considered for the shift leader role if you are already fully trained as a shift leader. That would have been nice to indicate in the job application hey?

I had better win £139million on EuroMillions tonight. 😞

Really Expensive Toothpaste

I work in a place which sells toothpaste, but our prices are... shall we say... convenience-store prices, probably because it's a convenience store. Anyway, I refuse to pay £3 for a product that I know I can get for £1 and which is a quality brand-name product. So every now and then I make my monthly trip to Poundland with the aim of getting "stuff I don't need to buy every week" in order to save myself some money in a bulk trip. Deodorant also features on that list because my own store only sells expensive sprays.

So did I save myself any money when I went to Poundland yesterday? Did I fuck. Fifteen quid gone and I've come home with deodorant, toothpaste, a new nightie, a new t-shirt, five pairs of socks, incense, cheese crackers and a scented candle. Oh well. Basically my intended two tubes of toothpaste just cost me £7.50 each. Cheers Colgate.

I was SO LOOKING FORWARD to two days off work after the Day From Hell™ which involved multiple mechanical failures, torrential rain, enormous queues and two (count 'em) two problem shoplifters. I spent half my time trying to calm the shift leader down and preventing him from absconding into the horizontal rain without a backwards glance - which he had threatened to do. So how's my two days looking? Yeah, my phone rang, I stupidly answered it and even more stupidly I agreed to work tomorrow. I just couldn't say no when my colleagues are also having days from hell.

Must think of the money. Must think of the money.

Pay Goes Up, Pay Goes Down

I had given so many overtime shifts to J that I expected my pay next week to be low - but I am pleasantly surprised to see that it will be acceptable. Even more amazing, I have received a partial Universal Credit for last month. It's only £20 but that's still something. There was no deduction for my UC debt, either, which was a bit odd. But that's fine by me, an interest-free loan can happily wait till later.

I went into work to put myself down for some overtime today. Yeah there's a paradox - they have finally made me permanent, from 9 up to 12 hour contract, but because they've changed my days and times, I will only be £5 better off and it will also make it more difficult for me to do overtime shifts (they will clash with my new, weird hours). As always, I am the only one volunteering on the overtime board, three more times. I had to move a sister store shift so I could rescue my own store and am now working six days this week. Plus ça change. I have applied for a one-year temporary post as a shift leader. I figure I have nothing to lose.

Properties are still appearing, unsuitable or too expensive, but this is still a good sign. I am still waiting for the legal pack for the studio I want to bid on. I need to curb my enthusiasm. I can't rent a bedroom out in a studio, so I need to be confident I'm not going over the price of the cheaper one-bedders out there. The 50k half-bed has just SSTC, so I am hoping the studio shit heap is only worth 35. Except it's the cheapest on the market and all the "stretchers" like me can't opt for the one-bedder. Booo.

I wait.

Yellow stickered: toilet rolls, flour, salsa.

Free: eggs, potatoes, limes, clementines, rump steak.

Spendy McSpenderson: nylon swim shorts, neoprene lightsuit. Annoyingly, the lightsuit was far too big AND had a faulty zipper, so I've had to buy a smaller one and wait to see what the seller says about the bigger one.

C'mon C'mon C'mon

I'm absolutely itching for change.

I am sick of moving belongings in my tiny bedroom anytime I do anything at all. Going to the loo when I wake up, I need to pick up my bag of loo roll, soap and hand towel, and step over the laundry basket on my floor... then when I get back I need to put the basket on my bed so I can actually navigate the floor and get dressed... bedtime I have to clear off my bed to sleep... I have to relocate things in my kitchenette to make a meal... it goes on and on. I knew this space was mentally tiny when I took it, but I'm just losing patience.

Properties are being reduced all the time but they aren't the ones I can afford. It's still good news, because if a half-bedroom shoebox gets reduced to "offers over 50" and a proper one-bedder is on at 60, then surely that means a studio is worth 35-40. Right? Right?

Current budget at auction is 42K, and for a conventional sale, I could probably go to 45. C'mon market, drop some more options into view... it's frustrating to the eye teeth that the only properties I can consider are the dirt-cheap ones allowing me to buy with the cash I can scrounge. Everyone else can get a mortgage so they can easily outbid me.

I am not thrilled with my boss. I broached the subject of a bigger permanent contract and while she was very nice about it, she wants to hire many bodies on tiny contracts instead. I told her that I need a decent number of hours on a contract or I'll have to look elsewhere, so she told me that if another site offers me a decent contract, then I should take it. 😞 Work bestie is disgusted and feels like they're idiots to let me go. It's a nice sentiment but niceness will never get me a mortgage.

Argh. Just agitated and impatient.

Dropping Like Flies

The 55K-advertised, 74K-offered rat-infested heap of shit, I mean, the one-bedroom ground-floor flat with the courtyard garden and parking potential... yeah this is too much for one sentence. While viewing another property, the agent and I got chatting. That one-bedroom flat had gone to a bidding war, hence the offer of 74 when it was only advertised at 55K. As a recap, this property needed complete renovation, with flooring and ceiling not even intact. So cash buyers only, it would never get a mortgage.

Anyway. She clearly felt the 74K was ridiculous, commenting that even when complete the flat was only worth 90. No profit in it considering the entire flat needs gutting. So, surprise, the sale has fallen through.

They are falling through all over the place as the market stabilises.

I mentioned this flat to my friend M (who's in the building trades) and it piqued his interest... he's also looking to buy but his purchase all went pear-shaped during Covid, so he was thinking to save more for a year. The renovation wouldn't cost him as much because he can have his company arrange it and then invoice him at the end, with payment not due until after the sale. I note that I only have 41K or I'd take a punt on it myself... and to let me know if he wants to go halves on a property?

He's tempted, he says. I give it a 5% chance at best though 😂

Still, it is so nice to have someone to talk property with in real life.

Of Course It Went Wrong!

Poor J spent two hours at the check in desk with the bitch from hell, who just kept telling him she couldn't let him check in yet, because she couldn't get through to reservations on the phone, while she made fun of him to other passengers... then she handed him a page from the rule book saying he couldn't fly at all! I was madly texting the airline on Twitter, and also his stepdad, who then got on the phone with them internationally, and finally they called J, sorted it all out behind the scenes and he was able to board with seconds to spare. Then, at his stopover, he was taken into a room for questioning by border patrol, warned that he might end up with a fine, sat there in complete stress, before finally being allowed to get on the next flight.

What a nightmare. I must have gone half grey in the process. But at least he has made it to Finland now.

Currently cooking an entire packet of bacon which was free. Eating it with cous cous, which J left behind.

Emptying his bedroom took most of the day... he didn't have much, but sorting and storing it was a pain. Possessions, they suck!

Am Sad.

I dropped J off at the train station this morning, he's returning to Finland today 😢

J being J it is going to be dramatic, his passport is stuck with the DVLA so he has to fly back with an expired Finnish ID card and a letter from the Finnish embassy politely asking them to carry him. Then he left it so late to print a mandatory declaration form that we had to get a workmate's husband to print it... which J duly filled out and left behind this morning. Sigh. He also forgot to give me back my debit card, so that'll need to be posted back. He left it so late to book his coach to the airport that there were no suitable seats, so he had to pay another £40 for the train, which involves two changes and a tube ride, in London. Admittedly, the train takes half the time, so that's a win.

In the scheme of things I reckon the form is minor bordering on not an issue (they'll surely have them at the airport). I'm a bit more apprehensive about his flight, mainly the change in Latvia, which hasn't got a lot of time to spare. Eh. If it all goes pear-shaped, Finnair can rescue him in some way.

So yeah. I'm sad. I will miss him. And I'll worry about him quarantining and staring at walls and being antisocial. I hope he keeps in touch with work bestie T, who is likewise going to miss J sooo much.

Mood: sad.

Beach Weather

It continues. I loves it. Twice this week I've been for a dip (today, in my new swimsuit, which is realistically too tight but I got away with it slightly unzipped at the front). Had ice cream on the way home. Felt like summer. Sand everywhere though.

I have also misbehaved and bought a lottery ticket. I'm pretending it was free because I used money from my Revolut that I had forgotten existed. This also meant I had to buy cookies, marshmallows and fudge.

My bank has stupidly approved my loan extension, then said it was for review, then rejected it. Arses. It was only £3,800 but that's money I can't use to bid on the flat I want now. Arses.

Yellow-stickered barbecue chicken pasta for dinner. And marshmallows.

The Universe Has Five Weeks

That is, to show me a better prospect, before I bid on this squalid bucket of "fun".

I went to view the studio apartment. And although I really should have been prepared, I was really disappointed. It's in a dire state, in need of a kitchen, new bathroom, all the walls redone, the ceiling replaced and new carpet. I think the most disappointing part of it all is that I still know that it's going to be a fight to get this for the money that I have.

Essentially it's a dump, and the most unbelievable part was learning that the tenant still lived there! The place was filthy from top to bottom, but even removing layers of grime won't make this into a pearl.

Here's hoping that it doesn't get snapped up before auction and that I can keep a few thousand aside for the work.

J goes home in a few days so we decided to go out for a curry together - also because the "Eat Out to Help Out" scheme meant we'd get 50% off. Even at half price I wasn't impressed. I forgot coins to leave a tip but by the time we left, that didn't matter. They brought us one pappadum to share and a "pickle platter" we hadn't ordered and which wasn't free so had to be sent back. They brought our drinks (upsized from what we asked for, and charged at the higher price) then the mains took 40 minutes to arrive. I politely asked about rice and a staff member barked in my face that I hadn't ordered rice. We managed to get a tiny tureen brought at a ridiculous price. My meal was... edible. No spice at all, and not outstanding. J also remarked his "two-chilli" dish had no spice at all. Halfway through he winced in agony as he bit into a whole chilli. We rated the experience a 6/10. I'm pretty sure I can prep a 7/10 at home by nuking packets.

The two of us remarked that perhaps we'd been spoilt by the amazing Nepalese restaurant we used to frequent in Helsinki where every meal comes with free dahl, cucumber yoghurt, pappadums, naan, chutney and RICE.

PS. "Fallen through" studio at 45K has had an offer of 45K. It will be interesting to see if this goes ahead.

Well Well Well

The non-floored place that I went to see, which was advertised for 55K, has an offer in for 74K 😭
The studio that wasn't right for me, at "offers over 45K" which "sold" for 54K, has fallen through 😁
The "no holiday lets" flat in the bad street, sold for 34K in March, is now relisted at 65K, untouched 😂

The market is so volitile right now it's ridiculous. Lots of one bedroom places are appearing for around the 65-70K mark, which is disappointing. But they aren't selling immediately, and the more flats that appear, the faster the market will settle back down where it belongs.

Today a studio appeared for 35K guide price. It's in a nice area in a building I've been to before. I am trying not to get my hopes up and crossing my fingers that some idiot doesn't swoop in and offer 45.

Free food: bananas, clementines, strawberries, melon slices, bagels, crisps, chocolates, sausage rolls, rocky road.

Roundup For July

PA £30.24
Huyu £5.00 (Tesco voucher)
Swagbucks £5.00

Looks as though motivation is lacking (duh!). Tired. Also tired of having such unpredictable weeks. I did go kayaking and paddleboarding (and got a large wakeup call on how old, unfit and overweight I am).

Stable and Scheduled

In brilliant news, I'm to be made permanent. A combination of staff leaving and us being awarded extra man-hours for our store means it can finally be a thing, and my manager has gone ahead and put it in motion without even getting approval from his boss. ♥ It might only be a tiny contract but it's something. I have never gone more than about a week without extra work, and this sudden mass-exodus has left us with a fair few shifts to cover. Plus I'm still getting hours offered from two of our sister stores.

J and I have booked to go Kayaking and Stand-Up Paddleboarding. It's costing us £30 each for each activity, but he's not here for long and we're getting some quality activities in while we can. We're also thinking about a picnic lunch for tomorrow at the local parklands.

I brought home free salmon steaks and a tray of roasting vegetables plus a pack of mushrooms, which J kindly cooked up for me in his flat. He hasn't cooked for so long and he enjoys it. The food was delicious and of course I forgot to take a picture! It's so nice to have a really delicious, healthy and free meal in good company. I also got pork steaks, breakfast cereal, and cake. Plus there were mini watermelons, plums, lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole, bread and of course the usual dozen sandwiches which I left for my housemates downstairs.

DEE Licious

I finally, for the first time in forever, made a banana cake. I kept bringing home free overripe bananas and procrastinating for so long that they even went beyond banana cake stage. And yes, that's a really, really long time, especially if you've kept them in the fridge...

But I digress, I made a banana cake today and am kicking myself for not making a double portion because it is just so incredibly good. I have eaten three slices and have saved the last piece for my son J to eat when he gets home from work.

It uses the easiest cake recipe in the world, which I posted ages and ages ago. One thing that I should mention is that this took 50 minutes to turn the right colour on top and be ready. It makes sense, because although it only makes a small cake, those bananas almost double the volume of the batter.

Survived the zoo. It was overcast but didn't really rain, which was good. But disappointingly a lot of exhibits were shut or seemed to contain no animals. We'd seen the whole place in two hours and agreed that the random housecat we saw was the best animal there and the best exhibit was the bugs house. Underwhelming. At least we didn't buy our picnic lunch, which was freebie bits and pieces from work.

Looking Up, Looking Down

My next-door neighbour has moved out and in a fit of brilliance I asked the landlord if my son could pay a little over the asking price in return for only staying a short time. They said yes! The room is much larger than mine, a fair bit nicer and more spacious and just feels nice. We're moving his things over the next few days. I am also tossing up whether I might want it myself after he leaves. I'm starting to think that I might have to accept that ownership might be delayed a little longer. We shall see.

The flat search: I went to see the renovator's dream. It was incredible, and not in a good way. In my mind I was kinda hoping for something where you can just put a rug down and give the place a good clean. Yeah, no, this place didn't have an intact floor or ceiling. I don't have that kind of money to merely buy air space! A bit depressing, to be honest. She told me she'd had offers on it. So I told her that my offer wouldn't be in the ballpark and mentioned my budget off the cuff, and then she almost accidentally confirmed it's not in the ballpark, and agreed that it's not a cheap refurbishment. So that's that. She was nice, and at least I saw another example of what costs what.

Eating: free mozzarella, salad, cheesecake and sandwiches.

Itchy Feet

Today is a bit of a struggle with feeling low and wanting to buy a home already and wondering, sadly, if it is ever going to happen.

The flood of new properties has ground to a halt, at least down near my price range, and the one I want to go and see apparently has a list of interested parties. There has been a change to stamp duty rules meaning people in the 125k+ bracket can now afford to spend more and I worry that this will lead to an uptick in property prices in general. Add to that, my payment holiday has ended so from next month my "total available to spend" is going to go down each month I pay back the loan. Of course, I should be able to re-borrow the repaid money back out every couple of months, but it's just treading water and I'm busy wondering if that might go on for years.

Son J and I have booked to go to the zoo. I don't like this new system, which requires that you book. I had to book it ten days in advance. The weather outside today is awful (muggy, overcast and is likely to rain) and I will be just disgusted if it pours on the day we booked... which would not have happened without pre-booking since we just would not choose to go on a rainy day!

Ouch: Car insurance, £25 more, which is great value considering I have moved house and the original quote was even higher. Goodbye £400.

Extension Number Five

...of my work contract, that is. There's a bit of a logistical nightmare in the reasons they currently can't make me permanent, so I will just have to be content with an extra month for now. At least I know that my manager really wants to make it happen and will do anything he can.

As I see things, I nailed that job interview back in January, because the manager asked did I really want to opt for the temp role when two permanent roles were on offer? But in my wisdom I wanted to keep the "good" job and the supermarket would just be a bit of extra money on the side, so I rolled the dice and opted for the temporary contract so as not to clash with Job #1's days. Joke was on me though because the supermarket definitely turned out to be the "good job" and now that I've left Job #1 behind, I have to live with the consequences of my decisions. That's life.

It has its perks, I eat incredibly well (as I said to Son today as we ate chicken strips, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots and chocolate eclairs all provided from from our work). There's another rump steak in my freezer too which I can look forward to one day soon. And I've brought home another half-box of bananas plus about 15 pink lady apples, which my 22 housemates squirrelled away post haste.

Eh: I have ordered a pack of three cloth facemasks from eBay. I've been thinking about it for a while, even before this brouhaha began whereby Boris Will Make Us. I hesitate because elderly (read: deaf) people struggle to understand me through a plastic till surround already. I would be exempt from wearing one at work, but it's time I got with the programme and just put one on.

Impatience

Me: IT'S 10AM WHY AREN'T THERE ANY NEW PROPERTIES LISTED TODAY YET?

And again every hour, basically.

I've asked to view another property this week, it's the one that is out of price range but which has been listed for a month without the price being dropped. I still think it would be nice to have a nosey inside.

Prolific Academic has been very quiet of late, I was sure something was wrong with the browser plugin, but it appears it has changed behaviour and you now have to manually check, rather than automatic. Sad but I suppose it was too good to last!

Discovered some online resources for guided meditations by Zoom meeting, so I might get myself together to attend a few this week.

Am treating myself to a huge, free, rump steak!

Postscript: said property has had no offers because it is an absolute shambles both physically and legally. I am still hoping to view it soon. It's either going to be completely unobtainable or the bargain of the century. We shall see.

Daytime Adventuring

Son J and I went out for the day today - he's only in town another few weeks and thanks to this covid-19 pandemic, has barely done anything social or touristy at all. While driving there (and looking for a parking spot) I ended up in one of the waterfront streets, filled with pastel-coloured B&B row houses and overlooking the parklands, beach and cliffs. He was awestruck, noting what a lovely place this is. I reflected on the fact he lives a 20-minute walk away but without us having a reason to go, we hadn't made the time... I truly do live in a lovely part of the world.

Anyway, I digress. We went to an outdoor museum, which had some gorgeous gardens and displays. Took lots of photos (which would unfortunately identify where we live) and had a picnic lunch together. Businesses really do seem to have pulled out all the stops despite coronavirus, this one had signs and arrows everywhere, painted markers on the footpaths, and had blocked off certain walkways to force people to follow a one-way system. On the whole most people did exactly as they should. Bravo. This will probably become the new norm, so it's good to see most people "getting" it.

Admission: about £30 between us. But that's ok, we could clearly see that the museum costs a lot to create and to maintain, and we did have a nice couple of hours.

Lunch: free bagels, free chicken loaf, free lettuce, free chocolates from the museum, yellow-stickered cupcakes, and a couple of cans of coke from my massive stash. Five minutes of preparation this morning before I left the house, plus it was inexpensive and not difficult to carry with us. Even if I'd had to buy all the fixings myself, I reckon it cost about a pound each. I looked around at all the people having expensive cafe lunches and takeaway coffees and I thought: ok it was convenient, but that just doubled the cost of your outing today!

It Came!

A cheque for my tax refund, and it's an amount which made me sing 😀 I actually got proper excited. And of course I added it to my spreadsheet and recalculated what I can afford to spend on a flat and then realised hey, it doesn't make an enormous difference, because there are still currently 0 flats I can actually afford to buy.

However, a really good indicator is that the market has leapt to life. Lockdown officially lifted today (even though we're meant to not travel if we can help it yarda) and this week, properties have been listed left, right and centre. Most are not within cooee of my price range, but MANY of the ones already listed are being reduced. I am waiting for one cheapy in particular to be dropped so that I can offer 85% of the asking price with my fingers crossed. It does risk offending the seller, but considering there's nothing else for me to offer on, I'm no worse off if they say no.

Meanwhile work is not very busy so I can't stash away much more each month. Sigh. It's hard to save when you already live so frugally.

Spendy McSpenderson: three cases of coke cans so that I could qualify for a £2 discount - I'm not an addict much... but I must admit I enjoy this as my one daily treat.

We won't mention the stash of chocolate digestives.

Spendy #2: Bought myself some inexpensive silver rings. I used to wear them years ago and left them all Down Under when I moved, and I miss them. I am being incredibly tightarsed and baulk at spending more than a few pounds, meaning that so far I've only found three suitable ones - I am still hunting for another six.

The Story of June

Testable Minds £5.48
Shoppix £5.00
PA £29.19
CheckoutSmart £15.00 (Tesco Voucher)
SnapMyEats £20.00 (Tesco Vouchers)

Not a terrible total. Not an amazing one, but hey, it's all free money.

A three-figure tax refund appeared unannounced in my bank account. It's good, but I still don't know whether any more is coming?

There's a Flat

...for sale, in a building I've seen before, which needs a very expensive new roof, and which has a terrible EPC rating (= absolutely freezing in winter with poor insulation and expensive to heat) and it needs new carpet and it's only a studio and it's overpriced and it's not in the ideal location

...and I'm annoyed because I still want it.

Why on earth am I planning where my furniture will go, in a flat that isn't the one I should be buying? I think I've got FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) because I'm behaving as if no other apartment will ever come up for sale at a good price.

Also, I'm owed some money for overpayment of tax... maybe. I got three letters with refund amounts which all contradict one another and the online system is both incorrect and lacking functionality to withdraw refunds... the help desk says yes, I'm owed a refund. But as to how much, I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Yay: Work bought me new steel-capped boots 😀😀😀 Really chuffed about this because my other ones were virtually dead.
Eh: Work has extended my contract again... for two weeks. Uh, ok. I'm told I'll "still be ok" after that, whatever that means. My organisation has a hiring freeze right now preventing me having any kind of permanent contract (so even though two permanent staffers have left, I can't have one of their contracts). Still, I'm getting quite a few shifts at our sister stores, so I'm not panicking atm.

Postscript: went to see the earlier-mentioned flat. It needed less work than expected, but also will need more insulation than expected (£££) and on a very "positive" note, it's already had offers in well above the asking price, which means it's well out of my price range and so I will be forced to behave myself.

I Did It, Sigh

I quit my hotel job. I know it was the right decision, but I still feel deflated, and I feel as if I'm letting them down - even though it was a business arrangement and not a personal one.

Sigh. Oh well. I will have to hope the supermarket gives me extra shifts. I'm confident I can afford to live, but I'm less confident of being able to add to my "home stash". As it stands if I found a place to buy tomorrow, the interest & repayments would be eye-watering. So every penny I don't spend (or every penny extra that I save) will reduce the amount of the ongoing repayments.

Other news: when is a "100% Guaranteed Accepted" loan offer not actually guaranteed? When I apply for it, obviously. I was hoping to add to my budget but I was turned down without even a credit check. Great! It seems like there's something in my bank statement they didn't like, and they won't tell me what it even is. Nice.

The Crash, aka Coronavirus #20

So I have three days off work - three whole days to be at home and do absolutely anything I like, or even nothing at all. It should be bloomin' marvellous since I haven't even had two days off together since January. Unfortunately, the overtime budget at work has overrun and extra work has come to a screaming halt. Bang, down from 35 hours per week to my contracted 9.25, and I might not even get my "always promised" extra few hours every Monday.

I just have to keep hoping for random overtime shifts to come up, and that they offer a permanent contract to me at some point. Even a tiny permanent contract will be an improvement in terms of mortgage eligibility.

It all throws a spanner into the works in terms of my second job, which I was considering giving leave on. I might be stuck there a while just to keep myself fed and clothed. I'm not pleased about it. They plan for us to return to work in two weeks' time. We shall see.

Also *angry face* I missed a payment on my credit card. I actually set up a direct debit five weeks ago and somehow apparently missed some kind of text on the screen saying that it would not commence for another seven weeks. Annoyed is not the word. I got a £12 late payment fee, 78p in interest (on a balance of six quid for dog's sake) but the part I'm most angry about is that it might score me a "late payment" marker on my credit history. The payment was missed ten days ago and I paid it in full today as soon as I realised it had been missed. So far none of the credit scoring sites shows it as a late payment - touch wood the bank won't report it. The poor chap on the phone was stuck with me moaning about it and was very kind about it but he can't do a thing about the marker, if/when it goes on. I did once miss a payment for a similar dumb reason with another bank and it never went onto my records, so I just have to hope...

J and I went into the local discount supermarket (read: a competitor) because I'd seen they had a special on Coke and I was curious as to the sorts of other things they sold anyway. I'm ashamed to say that I fell in love with the place and bought home £20 worth of food, even J bought £10 worth. They have a much better and cheaper range of ready meals and staples. We work in a supermarket and still agreed we're coming back to do most of our shopping in future. We are officially traitors now.

Free food: everything.

Buy-Nothing Groundhog Day

I am admittedly bemused by an article appearing in the Guardian today, in which the author Patrick Collinson appears surprised that the Coronavirus epidemic has created a constellation of "Buy Nothing Days".

It's now newsworthy to not spend money for several days in a row.

Pardon me while I dissolve into an absolutely non-Covid-related coughing fit.

Buy Nothing Day is an annually recognised protest against rampant consumerism, in which the public, for just one day each year, is encouraged not to spend any money. No takeaway lunch, no movie theatre, no click & collect, no grocery shop, no new clothes. Such is our addiction to spending that we need a Day to wake us up and to actively choose not to spend any money. Just for one day a year. Because not-spending for just one day each year is presumed to have a palpable impact on the world's economy, or on your bank account, or on, uh, something. Most likely the only tangible impact will be in the number of social media posts or in the level of feelgood hippie vibes.

To be fair, it's a well-written article and he examines the new distribution of spending. Those with less are still spending, because all they could afford before were necessities, and even in a pandemic, you have to buy your necessities. And those with more are pocketing more savings because they're no longer grabbing their non-essentials. Surprise, what we see is the rich get richer and the poor continue to be largely ignored. Coupled with the fact that those with the property assets are still collecting the dough - but that's a whole 'nother article.

Now I digress. My original, lost and belaboured point, is that it should be normal not to spend on most days. It isn't all that difficult to arrange your lunch before you leave the house. I mean, you accept all the other things you need to do (like getting dressed) and you don't see people moaning that they didn't have time to change out of their pyjamas.

Takeaway lunches aside, we as a planet do far too little of considering our purchases. Simply put, we buy that thing because we can. We don't stop to consider whether it's a worthwhile spend, or sometimes, if it's even necessary. I am just as guilty at times. I went into Poundland (bad me) and blinked and had spent £21. I accept that several items were necessary, but a whole lot of "I want" also went into that basket. I could excuse it by reminding myself that I can't buy clothing second-hand right now, but I also wasn't prepared to wait a few weeks to grab myself a couple of summer shirts.

People talk about making sacrifices, but you know what's far less painful? Nurturing a non-spending habit. In a world where clawing your way out of the land of the have-nots is hard enough, who really wants to abandon the best chance we have by spending our limited cash on crap? It merely entraps us at the bottom of the food chain. And it's not a place that I want to end my days.

May Roundup

Another month over and the world is still turning. Here are the extras, because all I seem to do is work...

Testable Minds £9.52
PA £30.44
About £150 of free food. Maybe more. Who knows? Just... a lot.

Absolutely glorious sunshine going on today and I'm considering going down to the beach :)

Somebody Bought It (Corona #19)

The flat I wanted to see, that is. They called me 30 minutes before the viewing to say that they expected the other party's offer would be accepted. On the one hand I think it's silly not to show me the flat, for all they know I might have offered the full price... but on the other hand, it wasn't the flat for me and it saved everyone wasting their time.

The "both of us having a day off" didn't happen either as J was called into work. Quelle surprise. This week, though, I took myself off to the beach for an hour. It was bliss. I almost couldn't be bothered, but eventually made myself, and I'm so glad I got myself out of the house. It's easy to forget how important it is to recharge the batteries and reset your outlook now and then.

Pictured: how deep I went into the water. (Not very.)

Tonight the lockdown has been eased and people will be allowed to meet in groups of six, providing they stay 2m apart at all times. People have been ignoring it for several weeks anyway so this will just grant a green light for people to do anything they want... I mean, you don't buy a dozen burger patties and £100 of alcohol when there's only your own family hanging out in the backyard, everyone knows what you're up to (yes, that was a purchase made this week).

Among my freebies lately were a dented trifle, three bags of mini cheeses, some fancy soups, flatbreads, mac & cheese, chocolate muffins, fabric softener and tons of bread as always. I've given up adding it up, suffice to say I rarely need spend more than £30 on my monthly groceries and I eat like a king. J, on the other hand, is living off meal deals and spending an absolute fortune, and we're going to have to have that showdown after payday this week because he could & should be saving up the pennies for an unemployed future.

New Blog Address

Well, if you found your way here then I guess you know!

I had some issues with privacy, so I have moved the blog to a new address.

There will be a bunch of broken links for quite a while, which will take me some time to correct. I can only aplogise in the meantime.

Otherwise, life is the same, I've been chatting to friends online and working (not much more to be done really). Hoping to go to see a lovely local park with J tomorrow since we're both (gasp!) off work on the same day. If we manage to go then a report will follow!

#18 Coronavirus: Refrigerator Tetris

It looks like this outside.
A lot.

That's basically the most exciting part of my existence right now (and also the most frustrating one). I am now jettisoning "less awesome" food from the freezer to make room for more valuable stuff. I spend my days indoors, standing within view of glorious sunshine. I bet you wish you were living my exciting life.

Yet again I've turned down working seven days this week. Six is enough, thank you. Seven is fine for a while, but you eventually deplete your stored-up mojo, let alone your basket of fucks, and mine have long since run out. This week I am supergluing my fingers, and it is not even an accident, I am literally gluing the cracks closed to give my poor over-hand-gel'd and over-washed skin a chance to heal. A customer took me to task yesterday for wearing gloves and I peeled one back to show her the red-raw skin, at which point she thankfully decided to stfu. I have never wanted to punch a stranger in my life but at that point I kinda understood why some people feel that way 👊

I caved in and ordered a bigger wetsuit. Even this one won't fit. I blame this on my ability to put away copious amounts of free brioche and crisps, and my disinclination towards protein+vegetables as a main meal. I am tired. I work a lot, sure, but it is very likely tied in with all the carbs and the lack of exercise.

Related to the whole "no room in my freezer" thing, I cooked half a kilo of brussels sprouts this evening, and have eaten seven of them. They tasted like soap. For the moment I'm drinking cranberry, peach spritz and rum, which also counts as a serving of my five a day.

Properties are creeping onto the market - slowly. I am yet to see any super-bargains appear. I'm off to view a property on Friday. The guide price is unrealistic, but I'm going anyway, clad in gloves and mask. It's 55k and needs completely gutting, so realistically 70k all-in, and listings for these 1br properties are only 85k right now - which is not enough of a safe space considering the market is very likely to fall. I think it's more curiosity than anything else, I really want to see who's dumb enough to take that risk. The news believes that three-quarters of Brits are worse off as a result of Coronavirus, so a lotta first-time-buyers and investors won't be in a position to pay what they might have wanted to spend, so it would be a brave punter willing to bet that the market won't crash.

Staying Home, Corona #17

So yesterday I started noticing that my throat felt a bit odd, and I was getting shooting pains in my ear, followed by a swollen gland. Not my favourite combination. Anyway, I stayed off work today just in case, but they've all disappeared. I can only conclude that my salivary gland was playing up but decided to unblock again (as it has done for 15 years - this is not new).

Anyway, it's actually my day off tomorrow, meaning two days off together, which hasn't happened in months on end. If I'm honest with myself I needed it, I am exhausted, and my patience with customers is wearing to the point I struggle to be my usual cheery self. One, whom I had had the audacity to politely invite to use the self-scan till, even ranted at me that if this is how customers are treated, then he would leave - to which I replied, "Ok, bye." And I have to say it was very restrained of me, but also not the most polite reply I could have given. Even though customers around us rallied to take my side, telling him that he was behaving like a child, in a perfect world (and in a less stressful time) I'd have tried to calm him down and keep him as a customer. But on Tuesday, 5th May 2020, I didn't give a shit if he buggered off forever.

Still no word on whether work will keep me beyond July, but at least for now I still have plenty of work. It's thought that Boris Johnson will lift the lockdown on Monday (or at least loosen it) and I although I think it's too soon, I also hope like hell that he does. It was warm and fine today and all I wanted to do was be out on the water. I'm also champing at the bit to buy a property and until people regain confidence in the safety of moving house, sellers aren't listing their properties.

I'd also love to get back to the gym. The sheer amount of eating that I do is insane. And I'm bored, and tired of doing nothing but work and sit at home. My wetsuit is going to forever stay a size A for Aspirational. Waaaaah, etc :D

Today's soundtrack: Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap. No reason, I just like it.

I got two bunches of flowers free from work - a sad hunk of tulips which amazingly rallied, and a miserable bunch of roses and lillies (the roses didn't do great but the lillies are just starting to open). Cheery. :)

Pay Day Spend: £40 on fuel (whole tank - last filled on pay day week - so now I know how much fuel I use each week). Also £23 in Poundland that I'm disgusted at, which only contained a few necessities.

The April Roundup

Well, I've barely had any time for myself and it shows! I think I only had two days off work this month so very little in surveys and a big fat zero in competition entries.

Free food, yellow stickers and staff discount - about £150.00, plus around £50 worth given to my neighbours
Prolific Academic £19.19
Qmee £1.90
Book Royalties £0.53
Quidco £1.29 (as Tesco voucher)

It's pay day today and I had a moment of thinking that I should go to the Big Shop to do my stock up while I have the 15% discount, and then I looked in my cupboard and No Way Am I Going Shopping. The cupboard is still full to the brim, the fridge and freezer are both full (as always) and I have stacks of food around my kitchen, bags of crisps, and Easter chocolate still sitting about.

J is coming for dinner so I will no doubt get my arse handed to me in whatever game we decide to play.

#16 The Coronavirus Saga

I'm losing track of all the free food because it is so constant. I left bread loaves, tiger loaves, baguettes, croissants, apples and limes downstairs for all my neighbours. I brought home mangoes, strawberries and a rump steak! I wasn't sure it would work without a frypan but I broiled it and it was absolutely amazing. I haven't had steak in years and it was such a lovely treat.

Almost by accident I have finally managed to get J a mini fridge. It's almost new and was really cheap, the lady selling it had coronavirus two weeks ago, so I collected from the kerb. She cleaned it with anti-bac and J is cleaning it again with bleach spray (I had sanitiser gel up to my armpits before and after loading it into the car!). He's over the moon at being able to store the milk for his coffee and to eat food that hasn't come out of tins or been bought the same day.

Nothing else of note except that I work non-stop and look out on a flat, empty sea every day, wishing I could be out there in the glorious weather, paddleboarding.

Good Mood. Corona #15

Lovely sunny day, good music on the radio, and looking forward to having dinner with J, of cold chicken, coleslaw and salad. I went in for my last shift today and with half an hour to go, my manager T said "See you tomorrow" - I said, "Will you?" and she winked. Big boss has extended my contract by three more months, so I am over the moon 😊

The "deniers" are out in force at work now. Also the liars (yes I put hand gel on when I came in, yes I read the screen which said 'card only' before I hammered the button to continue). Duh.

My new board game, Hive, is brilliant and another firm favourite to play against J. He will no doubt become much better at it than I will as he had the tactics in play almost immediately.

It's almost Stocktake Time at work and we've begun a deep reorganisation of the entire shop, unearthing about 50 packets of crisps which are all past their "best before" date. J asked to take them home and was told yes - we now each have a stash, and he really made me proud when he chimed "free meal deals!" as he bagged them all up. He had realised that he could fake those £3 meal deals for 30p when he goes to work, by having a free coffee, making toast, and just buying crisps or chocolate in a multipack. And now his lunches will be free for the next month.

Free crisps and bagels: £9.80
Yellow stickers, multi deals, discounts: £7.66

Coronavirus #14: The Big Blah

Feeling pretty blah. I was fairly confident that work would keep me, so I kept asking about that contract... but wish granted, they gave me a new one and it's only for a whopping 6 extra days, meaning it looks like I'll be unemployed in a weeks' time. I knew my job was temporary when I started but I must admit I am pretty down about the fact that the five emergency newbie staff have all had theirs extended for another two months 😢

So, blechhhhh. I don't even have a day to mope about it since I've worked the past eleven thousand days in a row and won't have a day off until the contract is out. This would be my own fault, but I can hardly not take every extra shift available when I half expect to be out of work so soon.

Sigh.

The deliveries are out-of-whack right now with tons of winter soup veg arriving alongside disposable barbecues and grilling kits. The torrent of unsold vegetables is insane. So much of it was given away to staff that I brought a stack home, bagged it all up in small portions and left it in my parlour downstairs with a note for people to help themselves. Most of it was taken within a few hours. It feels nice to save it from going in the bin.

Free food £28.38, not including today's haul.